“A wretched poetaster, who signs himself ‘Oppodeldoc,’ is silly enough to fancy that _we_ will print and _pay for_ a medley of incoherent and ungrammatical bombast which he has transmitted to us, and which commences with the following most _intelligible_ line: ‘Hail, Holy Light! Offspring of Heaven, first born.’ “We say, ‘most _intelligible_.’ ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) will be kind enough to tell us, perhaps, how ‘_hail_’ can be ‘_holy light_’ We always regarded it as _frozen rain_. Will he inform us, also, how frozen rain can be, at one and the same time, both ‘holy light,’ (whatever that is,) and an ‘offspring?’—which latter term, (if we understand any thing about English,) is only employed, with propriety, in reference to small babies of about six weeks old. But it is preposterous to descant upon such absurdity—although ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) has the unparalleled effrontery to suppose that we will not only ‘insert’ his ignorant ravings, but (absolutely) _pay for them!_ “Now this is fine—it is rich!—and we have half a mind to punish this young scribbler for his egotism, by really publishing his effusion, _verbatim et literatim_, as he has written it. We could inflict no punishment so severe, and we _would_ inflict it, but for the boredom which we should cause our readers in so doing. “Let ‘Oppodeldoc,’ (whoever he is,) send any future _composition_ of like character to the ‘Hum-Drum,’ the ‘Lollipop,’ or the ‘Rowdy-Dow,’ _They_ will ‘insert’ it. _They_ ‘insert’ every month just such stuff. Send it to them. WE are not to be insulted with impunity.” This made an end of me; and as for the “Hum-Drum,” the “Rowdy-Dow,” and the “Lollipop,” I never could comprehend how they survived it. The putting _them_ in the smallest possible _minion_, (that was the rub—thereby insinuating their lowness—their baseness,) while WE stood looking down upon them in gigantic capitals!—oh it was _too_ bitter!—it was wormwood—it was gall. Had I been either of these periodicals I would have spared no pains to have the “Goosetherumfoodle” prosecuted. It might have been done under the Act for the “Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.” As for “Oppodeldoc,” (whoever he was), I had by this time lost all patience with the fellow, and sympathized with him no longer. He was a fool, beyond doubt, (whoever he was,) and got not a kick more than he deserved.