Look at _me!_—how I labored—how I toiled—how I wrote! Ye Gods, did I _not_ write? I knew not the word “ease.” By day I adhered to my desk, and at night, a pale student, I consumed the midnight oil. You should have seen me—you _should_. I leaned to the right. I leaned to the left. I sat forward. I sat backward. I sat upon end. I sat _tete baissée_, (as they have it in the Kickapoo,) bowing my head close to the alabaster page. And, through all, I—_wrote_. Through joy and through sorrow, I—_wrote_. Through hunger and through thirst, I—_wrote_. Through good report and through ill report, I—_wrote_. Through sunshine and through moonshine, I—_wrote. What_ I wrote it is unnecessary to say. The _style!_—that was the thing. I caught it from Fatquack—whizz!—fizz!—— and I am giving you a specimen of it now. HOW TO WRITE A “BLACKWOOD” ARTICLE “In the name of the Prophet—figs!!” —_Cry of the Turkish fig-peddler._ I presume everybody has heard of me. My name is the Signora Psyche Zenobia. This I know to be a fact. Nobody but my enemies ever calls me Suky Snobbs. I have been assured that Suky is but a vulgar corruption of Psyche, which is good Greek, and means “the soul” (that’s me, I’m all soul) and sometimes “a butterfly,” which latter meaning undoubtedly alludes to my appearance in my new crimson satin dress, with the sky-blue Arabian mantelet, and the trimmings of green agraffas, and the seven flounces of orange-colored auriculas. As for Snobbs—any person who should look at me would be instantly aware that my name wasn’t Snobbs. Miss Tabitha Turnip propagated that report through sheer envy. Tabitha Turnip indeed! Oh the little wretch! But what can we expect from a turnip? Wonder if she remembers the old adage about “blood out of a turnip,” &c.? [Mem. put her in mind of it the first opportunity.] [Mem. again—pull her nose.] Where was I? Ah! I have been assured that Snobbs is a mere corruption of Zenobia, and that Zenobia was a queen—(So am I. Dr. Moneypenny always calls me the Queen of the Hearts)—and that Zenobia, as well as Psyche, is good Greek, and that my father was “a Greek,” and that consequently I have a right to our patronymic, which is Zenobia and not by any means Snobbs. Nobody but Tabitha Turnip calls me Suky Snobbs. I am the Signora Psyche Zenobia.