_Wom. P_. Ay, I have a part in both too; I wish any one else had them, for they are not seven lengths put together. I think it is very hard a woman of my standing should have a short part put upon her. I suppose Mrs Merit will have all our principal parts now, but I am resolved I'll advertise against her. I'll let the town know how I am injured. 1 _Play_. Oh! here comes our tragedy-poet. _Enter_ FUSTIAN. _Fust_. Gentlemen, your servant; ladies, yours. I should have been here sooner, but I have been obliged, at their own requests, to wait upon some half-dozen persons of the first quality with tickets: upon my soul 1 have been chid for putting off my play so long. I hope you are all quite perfect, for the town will positively stay for it no longer. I think I may very well put upon the bills, _At the particular desire of several ladles of quality_, the first night. _Enter_ Prompter. _Promp_. Mr Fustian, we must defer the rehearsal of your tragedy, for the gentleman who plays the first ghost is not yet up; and when he is, he has got such a churchyard-cough he will not be heard to the middle of the pit. 1 _Play_. I wish you could cut the ghost out, sir, for I am terribly afraid he'll be damned if you don't. _Fust_. Cut him out, sir? He is one of the most considerable persons in the play. _Promp_. Then, sir, you must give the part to somebody else; for the present is so lame he can hardly walk the stage. _Fust_. Then he shall be carried, for no man in England can act a ghost like him. Sir, he was born a ghost--he was made for the part--and the part writ for him. _Promp_. Well, sir, then we hope you will give us leave to rehearse the comedy first. _Fust_. Ay, ay, you may rehearse it first, if you please, and act it first too. If it keeps mine back above three nights, I am mistaken. I don't know what friends the author may have; but if ever such stuff, such damned, incoherent, senseless stuff, was ever brought on any stage--if the audience suffer it to go through three acts--Oh! he's here. _Enter_ TRAPWIT. Dear Mr Trapwit! your most humble servant, sir; I read your comedy over last night, and a most excellent one it is: if it runs as long as it deserves you will engross the whole season to yourself. _Trap_. Sir, I am glad it met with your approbation, as there is no man whose taste and judgment I have a better opinion of. But pray, sir, why don't they proceed to the rehearsal of your tragedy? I assure you, sir, I had much difficulty to get hither so early. 2 _Play_. Yes, faith, I believe you had. [_Aside_. _Fust_. Sir, your comedy is to be rehearsed first. _Trap_. Excuse me, sir, I know the deference due to tragedy better. _Fust_. Sir, I would not have you think I give up the cause of tragedy; but my ghost, being ill, sir, cannot get up without danger, and I would not risque the life of my ghost on any account. _Trap_. You are in the right on't, sir; for a ghost is the soul of tragedy.