_Trap_. Mr Fustian, you'll observe I do not begin this play, like most of our modern comedies, with three or four gentlemen who are brought on only to talk wit; for, to tell you the truth, sir, I have very little, if any, wit in this play. No, sir, this is a play consisting of humour, nature, and simplicity. It is written, sir, in the exact and true spirit of Moliere: and this I will say for it, that, except about a dozen, or a score or so, there is not one impure joke in it. But come, clear the stage, and draw the back scene! Mr Fustian, if you please to sit down by me. [Mayor _and_ Aldermen _discovered_. _Fust_. Pray, sir, who are these characters? _Trap_. Sir, they are Mr Mayor of the town and his brethren, consulting about the election. _Fust_. Are they all of a side, sir? _Trap_. Yes, sir, as yet; for you must know, sir, that all the men in this borough are very sensible people, and have no party principles for which they cannot give a good reason; Mr Mayor, you begin the play. _May_. Gentlemen, I have summoned you together to consider of proper representatives for this borough: you know the candidates on the court side are my lord Place and colonel Promise; the country candidates are Sir Henry Fox-chace and squire Tankard; all worthy gentlemen, and I wish with all my heart we could chuse them all four. 1 _Ald_. But since we cannot, Mr Mayor, I think we should stand by our neighbours; gentlemen whose honesty we are witnesses of, and whose estates in our own neighbourhood render 'em not liable to be bribed. _Fust_. This gentleman, Mr Trapwit, does not seem so unbiassed in his principles as you represented him. _Trap_. Pugh, sir! you must have one fool in a play; beside, I only writ him to set off the rest. _May_. Mr Alderman, you have a narrow way of thinking; honesty is not confined to a country; a man that lives a hundred miles off may be as honest as him who lives but three. _Ald_. Ay, ay, ay, ay. [_Shaking their heads_. _May_. Besides, gentlemen, are we not more obliged to a foreigner for the favours he does us than to one of our own neighbours who has obligations to us? I believe, gentlemen, there is not one of us who does not eat and drink with Sir Harry at least twenty times in a twelvemonth; now, for my part, I never saw or heard of either my lord or the colonel till within this fortnight; and yet they are as obliging, and civil and familiar, as if we had been born and bred together. 1 _Ald_. Nay, they are very civil, well-bred men, that is the truth on't; but won't they bring a standing army upon us? _May_. Mr Alderman, you are deceived; the country party will bring a standing army upon us; whereas, if we chuse my lord and the colonel, we shan't have a soldier in town. But, mum! here are my lord and the colonel. _Enter_ Lord PLACE _and_ Col. PROMISE. _Place_. Gentlemen, your most humble servant; I have brought the colonel to take a morning's whet with you.