_Trap_. Sir, this play is an exact representation of nature; I hope the audience will date the time of action before the bill of bribery and corruption took place; and then I believe it may go down; but now, Mr Fustian, I shall shew you the art of a writer, which is, to diversify his matter, and do the same thing several ways. You must know, sir, I distinguish bribery into two kinds, the direct and the indirect: the first you have seen already; and now, sir, I shall give you a small specimen of the other. Prompter, call Sir Harry and the squire. But, gentlemen, what are you doing? How often shall I tell you that the moment the candidates are gone out you are to retire to the table, and drink and look wise; you, Mr Mayor, ought to look very wise. _Fust_. You'll take care he shall talk foolish enough, I'll warrant you. [_Aside_. _May_. Come, here's a round to my lord and the colonel's health; a Place and a Promise, I say; they may talk of the pride of courtiers, but I am sure I never had a civiller squeeze by the hand in my life. _Trap_. Ay, you have squeezed that out pretty well: but shew the gold at these words, sir, if you please. _May_. I have none. _Trap_. Pray, Mr Prompter, take care to get some counters against it is acted. _Fust_. Ha, ha, ha! upon my word the courtiers have topt their part; the actor has outdone the author; this bribing with an empty hand is quite in the character of a courtier. _Trap_. Come, enter Sir Harry and the squire. Where are they? I _Play_. Sir, Mr Soundwell has been regularly summoned, but he has refused to act the part. _Trap_. Has he been writ to? I _Play_. Yes, sir, and here's his answer. _Trap_. Let both the letters be produced before the audience. Pray, Mr Prompter, who shall we have to act the part? I _Play_. Sir, I like the part so well that I have studied it in the hope of some time playing it. _Trap_. You are an exceeding pretty young fellow, and I am very glad of the exchange. _Sir H_. Halloo, hark forwards: hark, honest Ned, good-morrow to you; how dost, Master Mayor? What, you are driving it about merrily this morning? Come, come, sit down; the squire and I will take a pot with you. Come, Mr Mayor, here's--liberty and property and no excise. _May_. Sir Harry, your health. _Sir H_. What, won't you pledge me? Won't you drink no excise? _May_. I don't love party healths, Sir Harry. _All Ald_. No, no; no party healths, no party healths. _Sir H_. Say ye so, gentlemen? I begin to smoke you; your pulses have been felt, I perceive: and will you be bribed to sell your country? Where do you think these courtiers get the money they bribe you with, but from yourselves? Do you think a man who will give a bribe won't take one? If you would be served faithfully, you must choose faithfully, and give your vote on no consideration but merit; for my part, I would as soon suborn an evidence at an assize as a vote at an election. _May_. I do believe you, Sir Harry.