_Thers._ I say this Ajax wears his wit in's belly, and his guts in's brains. _Achil._ Peace, fool. _Thers._ I would have peace, but the fool will not. _Patro._ But what's the quarrel? _Ajax._ I bade him tell me the proclamation, and he rails upon me. _Thers._ I serve thee not. _Ajax._ I shall cut out your tongue. _Thers._ 'Tis no matter; I shall speak as much sense as thou afterwards. I'll see you hanged ere I come any more to your tent; I'll keep where there's wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools. [_Going._ _Achil._ Nay, thou shalt not go, Thersites, till we have squeezed the venom out of thee: pr'ythee, inform us of this proclamation. _Thers._ Why, you empty fuz-balls, your heads are full of nothing else but proclamations. _Ajax._ Tell us the news, I say. _Thers._ You say! why you never said any thing in all your life. But, since you will know, it is proclaimed through the army, that Hector is to cudgel you to-morrow. _Achil._ How, cudgel him, Thersites! _Thers._ Nay, you may take a child's part on't if you have so much courage, for Hector has challenged the toughest of the Greeks; and it is in dispute which of your two heads is the soundest timber. A knotty piece of work he'll have betwixt your noddles. _Achil._ If Hector be to fight with any Greek, He knows his man. _Ajax._ Yes; he may know his man without art magic. _Thers._ So he had need; for, to my certain knowledge, neither of you two are conjurers to inform him. _Achil._ to _Ajax._ You do not mean yourself, sure? _Ajax._ I mean nothing. _Thers._ Thou mean'st so always. _Achil._ Umh! mean nothing! _Thers._ [_Aside._] Jove, if it be thy will, let these two fools quarrel about nothing! 'tis a cause that's worthy of them. _Ajax._ You said he knew his man; is there but one? One man amongst the Greeks? _Achil._ Since you will have it, But one to fight with Hector. _Ajax._ Then I am he. _Achil._ Weak Ajax! _Ajax._ Weak Achilles. _Thers._ Weak indeed; God help you both! _Patro._ Come, this must be no quarrel. _Thers._ There's no cause for't _Patro._ He tells you true, you are both equal. _Thers._ Fools. _Achil._ I can brook no comparisons. _Ajax._ Nor I. _Achil._ Well, Ajax. _Ajax._ Well, Achilles. _Thers._ So, now they quarrel in monosyllables; a word and a blow, an't be thy will. _Achil._ You may hear more. _Ajax._ I would. _Achil._ Expect. _Ajax._ Farewell. [_Exeunt severally._ _Thers._ Curse on them, they want wine; your true fool will never fight without it. Or a drab, a drab; Oh for a commodious drab betwixt them! would Helen had been here! then it had come to something. Dogs, lions, bulls, for females tear and gore; And the beast, man, is valiant for his whore. [_Exit_ THERSITES. ACT III. SCENE I. _Enter_ THERSITES.