_Dom._ Ho, jealous? he's the very quintessence of jealousy; he keeps no male creature in his house; and from abroad he lets no man come near her. _Lor._ Excepting you, father. _Dom._ Me, I grant you; I am her director and her guide in spiritual affairs: But he has his humours with me too; for t'other day he called me false apostle. _Lor._ Did he so? that reflects upon you all; on my word, father, that touches your copy-hold. If you would do a meritorious action, you might revenge the church's quarrel.--My letter, father,-- _Dom._ Well, so far as a letter, I will take upon me; for what can I refuse to a man so charitably given? _Lor._ If you bring an answer back, that purse in your hand has a twin-brother, as like him as ever he can look; there are fifty pieces lie dormant in it, for more charities. _Dom._ That must not be; not a farthing more, upon my priesthood.--But what may be the purport and meaning of this letter? that, I confess, a little troubles me. _Lor._ No harm, I warrant you. _Dom._ Well, you are a charitable man; and I'll take your word: my comfort is, I know not the contents; and so far I am blameless. But an answer you shall have; though not for the sake of your fifty pieces more: I have sworn not to take them; they shall not be altogether fifty. Your mistress--forgive me, that I should call her your mistress, I meant Elvira,--lives but at next door: I'll visit her immediately; but not a word more of the nine-and-forty pieces. _Lor._ Nay, I'll wait on you down stairs.--Fifty pounds for the postage of a letter! to send by the church is certainly the dearest road in Christendom. [_Exeunt._ SCENE III.--_A Chamber._ _Enter_ GOMEZ _and_ ELVIRA. _Gom._ Henceforth I banish flesh and wine: I'll have none stirring within these walls these twelve months. _Elv._ I care not; the sooner I am starved, the sooner I am rid of wedlock. I shall learn the knack to fast o' days; you have used me to fasting nights already. _Gom._ How the gipsey answers me! Oh, 'tis a most notorious hilding. _Elv._ [_Crying._] But was ever poor innocent creature so hardly dealt with, for a little harmless chat? _Gom._ Oh, the impudence of this wicked sex! Lascivious dialogues are innocent with you! _Elv._ Was it such a crime to inquire how the battle passed? _Gom._ But that was not the business, gentlewoman: you were not asking news of a battle passed; you were engaging for a skirmish that was to come. _Elv._ An honest woman would be glad to hear, that her honour was safe, and her enemies were slain. _Gom._ [_In her tone._] And to ask, if he were wounded in your defence; and, in case he were, to offer yourself to be his chirurgeon;--then, you did not describe your husband to him, for a covetous, jealous, rich, old hunks. _Elv._ No, I need not; he describes himself sufficiently: but, in what dream did I do this?