_Gom._ How? no wrong? why, he ravished me, with the help of two soldiers, carried me away _vi et armis,_ and would put me into a plot against government. [LORENZO _holds up again._ I confess, I never could endure the government, because it was tyrannical; but my sides and shoulders are black and blue, as I can strip and show the marks of them. [LORENZO _again._ But that might happen, too, by a fall that I got yesterday upon the pebbles. [_All laugh._ _Dom._ Fresh straw, and a dark chamber; a most manifest judgment! there never comes better of railing against the church. _Gom._ Why, what will you have me say? I think you'll make me mad: truth has been at my tongue's end this half hour, and I have not power to bring it out, for fear of this bloody-minded colonel. _Alph._ What colonel? _Gom._ Why, my colonel--I mean my wife's colonel, that appears there to me like my _malus genius_, terrifies me. _Alph._ [_Turning._] Now you are mad indeed, Gomez; this is my son Lorenzo. _Gom._ How? your son Lorenzo! it is impossible. _Alph._ As true as your wife Elvira is my daughter. _Lor._ What, have I taken all this pains about a sister? _Gom._ No, you have taken some about me; I am sure, if you are her brother, my sides can show the tokens of our alliance. _Alph._ to _Lor._ You know I put your sister into a nunnery, with a strict command not to see you, for fear you should have wrought upon her to have taken the habit, which was never my intention; and consequently, I married her without your knowledge, that it might not be in your power to prevent it. _Elv._ You see, brother, I had a natural affection to you. _Lor._ What a delicious harlot have I lost! Now, pox upon me, for being so near a-kin to thee! _Elv._ However, we are both beholden to friar Dominick; the church is an indulgent mother, she never fails to do her part. _Dom._ Heavens! what will become of me? _Gom._ Why, you are not like to trouble heaven; those fat guts were never made for mounting. _Lor._ I shall make bold to disburden him of my hundred pistoles, to make him the lighter for his journey: indeed, 'tis partly out of conscience, that I may not be accessory to his breaking his vow of poverty. _Alph._ I have no secular power to reward the pains you have taken with my daughter; but I shall do it by proxy, friar: your bishop's my friend, and is too honest to let such as you infect a cloister. _Gom._ Ay, do, father-in-law, let him be stript of his habit, and disordered.--I would fain see him walk in querpo, like a cased rabbit, without his holy fur upon his back, that the world may once behold the inside of a friar. _Dom._ Farewell, kind gentlemen; I give you all my blessing before I go.--May your sisters, wives, and daughters, be so naturally lewd, that they may have no occasion for a devil to tempt, or a friar to pimp for them. [_Exeunt, with a rabble pushing him._