_Wood._ [_Aside._] But such a terrible wasp, as she, will spoil the snare, if I durst tell her so. _Pleas._ It is unconscionably done of me, to debar you the freedom and civilities of the house. Alas, poor gentleman! to take a lodging at so dear a rate, and not to have the benefit of his bargain!--Mischief on me, what needed I have said that? [_Aside._ _Wood._ The dialogue will go no farther. Farewell, gentle, quiet lady. _Pleas._ Pray stay a little; I'll not leave you thus. _Wood._ I know it; and therefore mean to leave you first. _Pleas._ O, I find it now! you are going to set up your bills, like a love-mountebank, for the speedy cure of distressed widows, old ladies, and languishing maids in the green-sickness: a sovereign remedy. _Wood._ That last, for maids, would be thrown away: Few of your age are qualified for the medicine. What the devil would you be at, madam? _Pleas._ I am in the humour of giving you good counsel. The wife can afford you but the leavings of a fop; and to a witty man, as you think yourself, that is nauseous: The mistress has fed upon a fool so long, she is carrion too, and common into the bargain. Would you beat a ground for game in the afternoon, when my lord mayor's pack had been before you in the morning? _Wood._ I had rather sit five hours at one of his greasy feasts, then hear you talk. _Pleas._ Your two mistresses keep both shop and warehouse; and what they cannot put off in gross, to the keeper and the husband, they sell by retail to the next chance-customer. Come, are you edified? _Wood._ I am considering how to thank you for your homily; and, to make a sober application of it, you may have some laudable design yourself in this advice. _Pleas._ Meaning, some secret inclination to that amiable person of yours? _Wood._ I confess, I am vain enough to hope it; for why should you remove the two dishes, but to make me fall more hungrily on the third? _Pleas._ Perhaps, indeed, in the way of honour-- _Wood._ Paw, paw! that word honour has almost turned my stomach: it carries a villainous interpretation of matrimony along with it. But, in a civil way, I could be content to deal with you, as the church does with the heads of your fanatics, offer you a lusty benefice to stop your mouth; if fifty guineas, and a courtesy more worth, will win you. _Pleas._ Out upon thee! fifty guineas! Dost thou think I'll sell myself? And at a playhouse price too? Whenever I go, I go all together: No cutting from the whole piece; he who has me shall have the fag-end with the rest, I warrant him. Be satisfied, thy sheers shall never enter into my cloth. But, look to thyself, thou impudent belswagger: I will he revenged; I will. [_Exit._