Let this auspicious morning be exprest With a white stone,[195] distinguished from the rest, White as thy fame, and as thy honour clear, And let new joys attend on thy new added year. Indulge thy genius, and o'erflow thy soul, Till thy wit sparkle, like the cheerful bowl. Pray; for thy prayers the test of heaven will bear, Nor need'st thou take the gods aside to hear; While others, even the mighty men of Rome, Big swelled with mischief, to the temples come, And in low murmurs, and with costly smoke, Heaven's help to prosper their black vows, invoke: So boldly to the gods mankind reveal What from each other they, for shame, conceal. Give me good fame, ye powers, and make me just; Thus much the rogue to public ears will trust: In private then,--When wilt thou, mighty Jove; My wealthy uncle from this world remove? Or, O thou Thunderer's son, great Hercules, That once thy bounteous deity would please To guide my rake upon the chinking sound Of some vast treasure, hidden under ground![196] O were my pupil fairly knocked o' the head, I should possess the estate if he were dead! He's so far gone with rickets, and with the evil, That one small dose would send him to the devil. This is my neighbour Nerius his third spouse, Of whom in happy time he rids his house; But my eternal wife!--Grant, heaven, I may Survive to see the fellow of this day! Thus, that thou may'st the better bring about Thy wishes, thou art wickedly devout; In Tyber ducking thrice, by break of day, To wash the obscenities of night away.[197] But, pr'ythee, tell me, ('tis a small request,) With what ill thoughts of Jove art thou possest? Wouldst thou prefer him to some man? Suppose I dipped among the worst, and Staius chose? Which of the two would thy wise head declare The trustier tutor to an orphan heir? Or, put it thus:--Unfold to Staius, straight, What to Jove's ear thou didst impart of late: He'll stare, and O, good Jupiter! will cry, Canst thou indulge him in this villainy? And think'st thou Jove himself with patience then Can hear a prayer condemned by wicked men? That, void of care, he lolls supine in state, And leaves his business to be done by fate, Because his thunder splits some burly tree, And is not darted at thy house and thee; Or that his vengeance falls not at the time, Just at the perpetration of thy crime, And makes thee a sad object of our eyes, Fit for Ergenna's prayer and sacrifice?[198] What well-fed offering to appease the God, What powerful present to procure a nod, Hast thou in store? What bribe hast thou prepared, To pull him, thus unpunished, by the beard? Our superstitions with our life begin;[199] The obscene old grandam, or the next of kin, The new-born infant from the cradle takes,