_Zuc._ Madam, if ever I have found favour in your eyes, if ever you have thought me a reasonable handsome fellow, as I am sure before I had a beard you might, O be merciful! 322 _Zoy._ Well, upon your apparent repentance, that all modest spectators may witness I have for a short time only thus feignedly hated you that you might ever after truly love me, upon these cautions I reaccept you; first you shall vow---- _Zuc._ I do vow, as Heaven bless me, I will do! _Zoy._ What? _Zuc._ Whate'er it be; say on, I beseech you. 330 _Zoy._ You shall vow---- _Zuc._ Yes. _Zoy._ That you shall never---- _Zuc._ Never---- _Zoy._ Feign love to my waiting-woman or chamber-maid. _Zuc._ No. _Zoy._ Never promise them such a farm to their marriage---- _Zuc._ No. _Zoy._ If she'll discover but whom I affect. 340 _Zuc._ Never. _Zoy._ Or if they know none, that they'll but take a false oath I do, only to be rid of me. _Zuc._ I swear I will not; I will not only not counterfeitly love your women, but I will truly hate them; an't be possible, so far from maintaining them, that I will beggar them. I will never pick their trunks for letters, search their pockets, ruffle their bosoms, or tear their foul smocks;--never! never! _Zoy._ That if I chance to have a humour to be in a masque, you shall not grow jealous. 351 _Zuc._ Never. _Zoy._ Or grudge at the expense. _Zuc._ Never! I will eat mine own arms first. _Zoy._ That you shall not search, if my chamber-door hinges be oil'd to avoid creaking. _Zuc._ As I am a sensible creature. _Zoy._ Nor ever suspect the reason why my bedchamber floor is double-matted. _Zuc._ Not, as I have blood in me. 360 _Zoy._ You shall vow to wear clean linen, and feed wholesomely. _Zuc._ Ay, and highly. I will take no more tobacco, or come to your sheets drunk, or get wenches. I will ever feed on fried frogs, broil'd[290] snails, and boil'd lamb-stones;--I will adore thee more than a mortal,--observe and serve you as more than a mistress,--do all duties of a husband,--all offices of a man,--all services of thy creature,--and ever live in thy pleasure, or die in thy service. 370 _Zoy._ Then here my quarrel ends; thus cease all strife. _Zuc._ Until they lose, men know not what's a wife. We slight and dully view the lamp of heaven, Because we daily see't, which but bereaved, And held one little week from darken'd eyes, With greedy wonder we should all admire; Opinion[291] of command puts out love's fire. _Herc._ _An act against mummers, false seemers, that abuse ladies with counterfeit faces, courting only by signs, and seeming wise only by silence._ 380 _Cup._ The penalty?