As play on me the epigrammatist! "Opinion mounts this froth unto the skies, Whom judgment's reason justly vilifies." For (shame to the poet) read, Ned, behold How wittily a master's hood can scold! _An_ EPIGRAM _which the_ Author Vergidemiarum _caused to be pasted to the latter page of every_ Pygmalion _that came to the Stationers of Cambridge_. _I ask'd Physicians what their counsel was_ _For a mad dog, or for a mankind ass?_ _They told me, though there were confections' store_ _Of poppy-seed and sovereign hellebore,_ 50 _The dog was best cured by cutting and kinsing,_[579] _The ass must be kindly whipped for winsing._ _Now then, S. K., I little pass._ _Whether thou be a mad dog or a mankind ass._ Smart[580] jerk of wit! Did ever such a strain Rise from an apish schoolboy's childish brain? Dost thou not blush, good Ned, that such a scent Should rise from thence, where thou hadst nutriment? "Shame to Opinion, that perfumes his dung, And streweth flowers rotten bones among! 60 Juggling Opinion, thou enchanting witch! Paint not a rotten post[581] with colours rich." But now this juggler, with the world's consent, Hath half his[582] soul; the other, compliment; Mad world the whilst. But I forget me, I, I am seducèd with this poesy, And, madder than a bedlam, spend sweet time In bitter numbers, in this idle rhyme. Out on this humour! From a sickly bed, And from a moody mind distemperèd, 70 I vomit forth my love, now turn'd to hate, Scorning the honour of a poet's state. Nor shall the kennel rout of muddy brains Ravish my muse's heir, or hear my strains, Once more. No nitty[583] pedant shall correct Enigmas to his shallow intellect Enchantment, Ned, have ravishèd my sense In a poetic vain circumference. Yet thus I hope (God shield I now should lie), Many more fools, and most more wise than I. 80 VALE. [577] This satire was added in ed. 1599.--I suspect that "Master E. G." was Edward Guilpin, author of _Skialetheia_, 1598, a collection of epigrams. [578] See note 6, p. 346. [Transcriber's Note: Footnote [523]] [579] "Mark the witty allusion to my name."--Marginal note in old ed. (See Introduction to vol. i.) [580] The heading of the page in old ed. is changed from "_Stultorum plena sunt omnia_" to "_Medice cura tripsum_." [581] An allusion to the posts that stood at the doors of sheriffs. These posts were repainted when new sheriffs came into office.--Middleton, v. 149. [582] _i.e._, the world's. [583] Lousy. SATIRE XI. _Humours._