Behold him Freshman! forced no more to groan [xxxvi] O'er Virgil's [18] devilish verses and his own; Prayers are too tedious, Lectures too abstruse, He flies from Tavell's frown to "Fordham's Mews;" (Unlucky Tavell! [19] doomed to daily cares [xxxvii] By pugilistic pupils, and by bears,) 230 Fines, Tutors, tasks, Conventions threat in vain, Before hounds, hunters, and Newmarket Plain. Rough with his elders, with his equals rash, Civil to sharpers, prodigal of cash; Constant to nought--save hazard and a whore, [xxxviii] Yet cursing both--for both have made him sore: Unread (unless since books beguile disease, The P----x becomes his passage to Degrees); Fooled, pillaged, dunned, he wastes his terms away, [xxxix] And unexpelled, perhaps, retires M.A.; 240 Master of Arts! as _hells_ and _clubs_ [20] proclaim, [xl] Where scarce a blackleg bears a brighter name! Launched into life, extinct his early fire, He apes the selfish prudence of his Sire; Marries for money, chooses friends for rank, Buys land, and shrewdly trusts not to the Bank; Sits in the Senate; gets a son and heir; Sends him to Harrow--for himself was there. Mute, though he votes, unless when called to cheer, His son's so sharp--he'll see the dog a Peer! 250 Manhood declines--Age palsies every limb; He quits the scene--or else the scene quits him; Scrapes wealth, o'er each departing penny grieves, [xli] And Avarice seizes all Ambition leaves; Counts cent per cent, and smiles, or vainly frets, O'er hoards diminished by young Hopeful's debts; Weighs well and wisely what to sell or buy, Complete in all life's lessons--but to die; Peevish and spiteful, doting, hard to please, Commending every time, save times like these; 260 Crazed, querulous, forsaken, half forgot, Expires unwept--is buried--Let him rot!