_Heracl_. Young and old, him that bids and him that bids not, a murrain seize you all! _Fourth D_. A sad case. He will be melancholy mad before long. Neither of these is the creed for my money. _Her_. No one bids. _Zeus_. Next lot. _Her_. The Athenian there? Old Chatterbox? _Zeus_. By all means. _Her_. Come forward!—A good sensible creed this. Who buys Holiness? _Fifth D_. Let me see. What are you good for? _Soc_. I teach the art of love. _Fifth D_. A likely bargain for me! I want a tutor for my young Adonis. _Soc_. And could he have a better? The love I teach is of, the spirit, not of the flesh. Under my roof, be sure, a boy will come to no harm. _Fifth D_. Very unconvincing that. A teacher of the art of love, and never meddle with anything but the spirit? Never use the opportunities your office gives you? _Soc_. Now by Dog and Plane-tree, it is as I say! _Fifth D_. Heracles! What strange Gods are these? _Soc_. Why, the Dog is a God, I suppose? Is not Anubis made much of in Egypt? Is there not a Dog-star in Heaven, and a Cerberus in the lower world? _Fifth D_. Quite so. My mistake. Now what is your manner of life? _Soc_. I live in a city of my own building; I make my own laws, and have a novel constitution of my own. _Fifth D._ I should like to hear some of your statutes. _Soc_. You shall hear the greatest of them all. No woman shall be restricted to one husband. Every man who likes is her husband. _Fifth D_. What! Then the laws of adultery are clean swept away? _Soc_. I should think they were! and a world of hair-splitting with them. _Fifth D_. And what do you do with the handsome boys? _Soc_. Their kisses are the reward of merit, of noble and spirited actions. _Fifth D_. Unparalleled generosity!—And now, what are the main features of your philosophy? _Soc_. Ideas and types of things. All things that you see, the earth and all that is upon it, the sea, the sky,—each has its counterpart in the invisible world. _Fifth D_. And where are they? _Soc_. Nowhere. Were they anywhere, they were not what they are. _Fifth D_. I see no signs of these 'types' of yours. _Soc_. Of course not; because you are spiritually blind. _I_ see the counterparts of all things; an invisible you, an invisible me; everything is in duplicate. _Fifth D_. Come, such a shrewd and lynx-eyed creed is worth a bid. Let me see. What do you want for him? _Her_. Five hundred. _Fifth D_. Done with you. Only I must settle the bill another day. _Her_. What name? _Fifth D_. Dion; of Syracuse. _Her_. Take him, and much good may he do you. Now I want Epicureanism. Who offers for Epicureanism? He is a disciple of the laughing creed and the drunken creed, whom we were offering just now. But he has one extra accomplishment—impiety. For the rest, a dainty, lickerish creed. _Sixth D_. What price? _Her_. Eight pounds. _Sixth D_. Here you are. By the way, you might let me know what he likes to eat.