The Works of Lucian of Samosata — Volume 03Lucian, of Samosata
Philosophy
The Works of Lucian of Samosata — Volume 03
Lucian, of Samosata
Lucian, of Samosata -- Translations into English
That sponging is an art, has now been abundantly proved; it remains
to show its superiority; and this I shall take in two divisions:
first, it has a general superiority to all the arts; and, secondly,
it is superior to each of them separately. The general superiority
is this: the arts have to be instilled by dint of toil, threats and
blows—regrettable necessities, all of them; my own art, of which
the acquisition costs no toil, is perhaps the only exception. Who
ever came away from dinner in tears? with the schoolroom it is
different; or who ever went out to dinner with the dismal
expression characteristic of going to school? No, the sponger needs
no pressing to get him to table; he is devoted to his profession;
it is the other apprentices who hate theirs, to the point of
running away, sometimes. And it is worth your notice that a
parent’s usual reward for a child who makes progress in the
ordinary arts is just the thing that the sponger gets regularly.
The lad has done his writing well, they say; let him have something
nice: what vile writing! let him go without. Oh, the mouth is very
useful for reward and punishment.
Again, with the other arts the result comes only after the learning
is done; their fruits alone are agreeable; ‘long and steep the road
thereto.’ Sponging is once more an exception, in that profit and
learning here go hand in hand; you grasp your end as soon as you
begin. And whereas all other arts are practised solely for the
sustenance they will ultimately bring, the sponger has his
sustenance from the day he starts. You realize, of course, that the
farmer’s object in farming is something else than farming, the
carpenter’s something different from abstract carpentering; but the
sponger has no ulterior object; occupation and pre-occupation are
for him one and the same.
Then it is no news to any one that other professions slave
habitually, and get just one or two holidays a month; States keep
some monthly and some yearly festivals; these are their times of
enjoyment. But the sponger has thirty festivals a month; every day
is a red-letter day with him.
Once more, success in the other arts presupposes a diet as
abstemious as any invalid’s; eat and drink to your heart’s content,
and you make no progress in your studies.
Other arts, again, are useless to their professor unless he has his
plant; you cannot play the flute if you have not one to play;
lyrical music requires a lyre, horsemanship a horse. But of ours
one of the excellences and conveniences is that no instrument is
required for its exercise.
Other arts we pay, this we are paid, to learn.
Further, while the rest have their teachers, no one teaches
sponging; it is a gift from Heaven, as Socrates said of poetry.
Then do not forget that, while the others have to be suspended
during a journey or a voyage, this may be in full swing under those
circumstances too.
_Tyc_. No doubt about that.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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