comb’d out my wig, then clean’d my shoes, and then oil’d the locks of my pistols, and so set out for this tedious and lugubrous journey: and that you may see, that _Pluto_’s skip-kennels are not so insolent as yours are, the fellow told me, with a malicious smile, that if the powder’d gentry of the other world were so very despicable animals, as I represented them, he would take a small tour with me, and then I might have something material to communicate to them. We had not walk’d so far as from the chocolate-house to the _Rose_, but in a narrow, obscure, obscene alley, there hung out a piece of a broken chamber-pot, upon which was written in sulphurous characters, _Fleshly relief for the sons of_ Adam. I had hardly made an end of reading this merry motto, but the door open’d, and what should my eyes behold, but a reverend lady, of illustrious charms, that gave us too visible proofs of the depredations of time: I recollected her phiz, as engineers tell by the very ruins, whether the fabric were _Doric_ or _Ionic_, &c. and who should this be but the celebrated fair _Rosamond_; her present occupation was to be runner to this bawdy coffee-house. Queen _Eleanor_, her mortal enemy, sells sprats, and has [Illustration: Mark Antony _teaching yᵉ Dogs to Dance_ Oliver Cromwel _turn’d Rat Catcher_ _Vol. II. p. 121._] her stall in _Pluto_’s stable-yard. In my peregrination, I met several things unexpected, and therefore surprising; I shall not give you the trouble of every particular dark passage we went thro’, but in general terms relate the most memorable things that occurred during a very considerable walk that we had together. Taking a solitary walk on the gloomy banks of _Acheron_, I met a finical fellow, powder’d from top to toe, his hands in his pocket, _a-la-mode de Paris_, humming a new minuet; and who would it be, but _Gondamour_, that famous _Spaniard_. _Helen_ of _Greece_ cry’d kitchin-stuff, and _Roxano_ had a little basket of tripe and trotters; _Agamemnon_ sold bak’d ox-cheek, hot, hot; _Hannibal_ sells _Spanish_-nuts, come crack it away; the so famous _Hector_ of _Troy_ is a head-dresser; the _Decii_ keep a coblers-stall, in the corner of the _Forum_, and the _Horatii_ a chandler’s-shop; _Sardanapalus_ cries lilly-white-vinegar, and _Heliogabalus_ bakes fritters, in the _via appia_ of this metropolis; _Lucius Æmilius Paulus_ is a bayliff’s follower, and the famous queen _Thomyris_ proportions out the offals for _Cerberus_; _Tarquin_ sweeps his den, and _Romulus_ is a turnspit in _Pluto_’s kitchen; _Artaxerxes_ is an under scullion, and _Pompey_ the magnificent, a rag-man; _Mark Anthony_, that disputed his mistress at the price of the whole universe, goes now about with dancing-dogs, a monkey and a rope; _Cleopatra_, that could swallow a province at one draught, when it was to drink her lover’s health, submits now to the humble employment of feeding _Proserpine_’s pigs: