in in the town knows him; ask but for the Barber and his nineteen daughters, and you cannot miss of him. Having thus laid the scene, I took my leave, and adjourn’d about the business of the day, and coming from _Montague_’s shop three or four days afterwards, I stepp’d into the same coffee-house, where I happen’d to meet with the spiritual pastor just coming to town, who had been erring and straying like a lost sheep in quest of _Tonsor in nubibus_. As soon as ever he set eyes upon me, he attack’d me tooth and nail, with as much fury as if I had been brother to the _Whore of Baylon_, and told me I was some _Papist_, or otherwise a _Fanatick_, or else I would have had more religion in me, than to have made a fool of a man of his function, for that he had taken a journey on purpose to _Chelmsford_, and could find no such barber. Pray, Sir, said I, don’t be so angry, for since I never gave ear to your preaching, why should you listen to my prating? and since you make fools of a whole parish every sunday, how can you be so angry with a man to make a fool of you once in his life time? so turn’d my back, and left the whole company to laugh at him. You must know I love dearly to put a jest upon a priest, because it was always my opinion, they put more jests upon the world than any people; besides, any body may put a trick upon a block-head, but that conduces but little to a man’s reputation. I love to put my jokes upon men of parts, that the world may see I can bite the biter; nothing carries the burthen of another man’s wit with a greater grace, than a sacerdotal dromedary; therefore to let you see the wonderful regard I bear to religion, I have one story, or piece of wit more to entertain you with, that I hope may further divert you. I chanc’d to be in company with a parcel of grave sermon-hunters, and among a long catalogue of reverend orators, whose name should bring up the rear of the eminent _Black-List_, but my honest neighbour the dean’s? I took not their flattery for my example, but gave my tongue the liberty to speak as I thought, and said, he was a learned blockhead; some of my good friends had the civility to report my saying to him. Upon which, he sent the reader of the parish to admonish me, who came one morning very solemnly to my chamber, and took upon him to tell me how dishonourably and unchristian-like I had done, in aspersing the doctor with the calumny of being a learned blockhead. Truly, Sir, said I, I am sorry I should be so unmannerly to express my sentiments so freely: but however, since it is done and can’t be help’d, I desire you will go back and tell him it’s more than I can say by you, for thou art a blockhead without any learning at all, and a fit man to be sent upon such errands. Upon this answer he lugg’d his hat over his eyes, and ran away as sullen and as silent as the devil pinch’d by the nose did from St. _Dunstan_, when the old gentleman had loosen’d his barnacles.