The works of Mr. Thomas Brown, serious and comical : in prose and verse, with his remains in four volumes compleat; vol. IIBrown, Thomas
General
The works of Mr. Thomas Brown, serious and comical : in prose and verse, with his remains in four volumes compleat; vol. II
Brown, Thomas
English wit and humor -- Early works to 1800; Erotic literature -- Early works to 1800; Latin literature -- Translations into English
I am sensible news from another world to a man of curiosity, cannot but
be acceptable: I shall therefore proceed to give you some account how
our party (who are very numerous) fare in these sultry dominions,
towards which I hope in a little time, you will set forward on your
journey.
My quondam master _Oliver Cromwell_, of ever famous memory, to whom upon
earth, you must know, I was not only chaplain in ordinary, but as well
jester to his excellency, an honour which I hear most noblemen confer
upon the black robe, now good old house-keeping, and the party-colour’d
coat are quite thrown out of fashion: My master, I say, who in honour to
his _exit_, was fetch’d away out of the upper world in a whirlwind, and
conducted into these parts with all the solemnities of an usurper, was
establish’d in a notable post at his first admittance into _Pluto_’s
court, in which eminent employment (that like a faithful servant
follow’d him) I found him, to my great satisfaction. _Alecto_, one of
the furies, having taken a surfeit with over-flogging _Guido Vaux_
(which is a ceremony perform’d here in publick every fifth of
_November_) for discovering the _Gun-Powder-Treason-Plot_, and defeating
that notable design, which by the indefatigable industry of the most
skilful politicians on this side _Acheron_, was so hopefully projected:
and fearing some disorders should arise in our infernal common-wealth
for want of strict discipline, my old master _Oliver_ was pitch’d on to
be deputy-firker to the sick beldam, and a scorpion-rod was accordingly
presented him, with all the usual ceremonies of so grand an instalment.
This news of his advancement was so terrible a conflict to the cavalier
part, who dreading the severity of his correction, petition’d _Pluto_ to
remove him, but to no purpose; which insolence so inflam’d my cholerick
master, that his nose swell’d as big at the end as an apple-dumpling,
and look’d as fiery red (to the terror of those that came under his
lash) as if his magnificent gigg had been a living salamander, so that
wherever he met with a cavalier, he did so firk and jirk him, that
_Busby_ was never a greater terror to a blockhead, or the _Bridewell_
flog-master to a night-walking strumpet, than he at this day to a
high-flyer or a Jacobite. Great regard has been shewn by his infernal
majesty, to all that in _forty eight_ were members of the high court of
justice; some are made master and wardens of the devil’s mint, for the
coining of new sins; some commissioners of the temptation-office;
others, barons of the diabolical stinkports; and particularly
sollicitor-general _Cook_ is made lord-keeper of hell’s punishments; and
_Bradshaw_ and _Ireton_, two of his imperial smuttiness’s
privy-counsellors: So that all the posts of honour and preferment in
these lower regions are in the hands of our party, hoping those of the
same kidney who live over our heads, enjoy the like advantages, as we
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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