Yesterday morning, about eight of the clock precisely, the sun being newly entred into _Sagittarius_, and the wind standing at south-east by east; which corner, as the learned abbot _Joachimus Trithemius_, in his elaborate treatise, intitled, _Eurus Enucleatus_, tells us, is a certain prognostick of droughts and hot weather; I was smoaking a pipe of tobacco, and reading _Erasmus_’s _Moriæ Encomium_ of the _Basil_ edition, printed by _Frobenius_, who, you know, Sir, married _Christopber Plantin_’s cook-maid, when to my great surprize, the post-boy brought me a letter from one _W. H._ who pretends to date it from his chambers in _Clifford_’s-Inn; tho’ as far as I can judge of the beast by his stile and way of writing, he ought to have a room no where but in the brick-house in _Moorfields_. For, Sir, the author of it, and I desire you to tell him so much from me, seems to rave, and in his raving fit disgorges old buckram _Apophthegms_ and ends of _Latin_ stolen out of _Lycosthenes_; and in short, at the expence of other folks, throws his thread-bare quotations about him like a madman, as you will soon perceive, if you’ll give yourself the trouble to read what follows. I. This retainer to the law, Sir, begins his letter with _Ingratum si dixere omnia dixere_; and has the impudence to tell me, that it was a saying of one of the greatest sages of antiquity, as if a man were a jot the wiser for his calling him so; and, like a presuming coxcomb as he is, presumes I am no stranger to his name and merits. Pray, Sir, tell him from me, that he has falsify’d his quotation; for which crime, by an old statute of king _Ina_, as you will find in _Gothofred_ and _Panormitanus_, he ought to do penance in a certain wooden machine, call’d in _Latin_, _Collistrigium_, and in _English_ a _Pillory_; and that in all the antient manuscripts both in the _Vatican_ and _Bodleian_ libraries, not to mention those of the duke of _Courland_, and the prince of _Hesse-Darmstadt_, ’tis written, _Attornatum si dixeris, omnia dixeris_; which is as much as to say, Sir, that if you call a man an attorney, you call him all the rogues and rascals in the world. II. Before I proceed any farther, I must beg the favour of you to inform him, that we are much surpriz’d here to find an attorney guilty of so much nonsense, as to send down _Latin_ to the university, where we have more than we know well what to do with. ’Tis as bad as sending _Derby_-ale from _Fullwood_’s-rents to the town of _Derby_, or sturgeon to _Huntingdon_. In fine, as he has manag’d matters, ’tis downright _murderium_ (he knows the meaning of that word) for which he must never expect the benefit of the clergy.