You are a very pretty gentleman, friend _Rablais_, to boast of yourself so much, and value the rest of your fraternity so little. Do not you know that I am of the tribe of _Judah_, and perhaps related to some of the kings of _Israel_? Had you heard me preach in a synagogue, you wou’d soon be convinc’d whether I am an illiterate fellow or no. Is it such an honour to be of your college? Or wou’d it be any advantage to be like you? You have been, by your own confession, a most horrid rake-hell; and I would not, for all the mammon of unrighteousness in my king’s coffer, transgress one point of the law. You ought not to be astonished at my greatness, for I concern myself with more than one trade, and no man was ever in such favour, and grew so rich, by only applying warm injections to the backside. If you enjoy’d a prebend, and other benefices, you must, I know, have assisted cardinal _Bellay_ in his amours. For my part, I boast of having been a broker, sollicitor, and, under the rose, _Billet-deux_ carrier and door-keeper, because all employments at court are honourable, especially in that great concern of _S----y_. Do not you think you were the first that thought of the remedy you speak of; we had several learned consultations about it, but know not which way to mention it, for Madam _Scarron_, who is very tender of her reputation, and reigns sovereignly at court, will say we accuse her of bringing the _Neapolitan_ distemper to _Versailles_, and have us sent to the gallies, or hang’d for our good advice. I have often reflected on the scandalous bantering stuff of those they call wits, have said, and do say of us; and wish with all my heart, the first brimstone they take for the itch, and mercury for the pox, may poison ’em; but for us to stir in’t, would bring ’em all about our ears; and we know the consequence of that from a neighbouring [43] country, where they have mumbled a poor physician [44], and one that can versify also, almost as severely as a troop of hungry wolves would a fat ass. However, we thank you for your zeal; but at the same time advise you not to make a quarrel for so small a business; and I, in a particular manner, kiss your hand, and desire you will give my service to _Nostradamus_. I cannot beat it out of my head, but that he has put me into his [45] centuries; and that an ingenious man might discover me there. I own ’tis looking for a needle in a bottle of hay; but you know I sprung up like a mushroom, and that he foretels nothing but prodigies. _The Duchess of_ Fontagne _to the_ Cumean Sibyl.