The Works of Robert Louis Stevenson - Swanston Edition, Vol. 01Stevenson, Robert Louis
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The Works of Robert Louis Stevenson - Swanston Edition, Vol. 01
Stevenson, Robert Louis
English literature -- 19th century
Generally a man is never more uselessly employed than when he is at this
trick of bastinadoing asses' hide. We know what effect it has in life,
and how your dull ass will not mend his pace with beating. But in this
state of mummy and melancholy survival of itself, when the hollow skin
reverberates to the drummer's wrist, and each dub-a-dub goes direct to a
man's heart, and puts madness there, and that disposition of the pulses
which we, in our big way of talking nickname Heroism:--is there not
something in the nature of a revenge upon the donkey's persecutors? Of
old, he might say, you drubbed me up hill and down dale, and I must
endure; but now that I am dead, those dull thwacks that were scarcely
audible in country lanes have become stirring music in front of the
brigade; and for every blow that you lay on my old great-coat you will
see a comrade stumble and fall.
Not long after the drums had passed the _cafe_ the _Cigarette_ and the
_Arethusa_ began to grow sleepy, and set out for the hotel, which was
only a door or two away. But although we had been somewhat indifferent
to Landrecies, Landrecies had not been indifferent to us. All day, we
learned, people had been running out between the squalls to visit our
two boats. Hundreds of persons, so said report, although it fitted ill
with our idea of the town--hundreds of persons had inspected them where
they lay in a coal-shed. We were becoming lions in Landrecies, who had
been only pedlars the night before in Pont.
And now, when we left the _cafe_, we were pursued and overtaken at
the hotel door by no less a person than the _Juge de Paix:_ a
functionary, as far as I can make out, of the character of a Scots
Sheriff-Substitute. He gave us his card and invited us to sup with
him on the spot, very neatly, very gracefully, as Frenchmen can do
these things. It was for the credit of Landrecies, said he; and
although we knew very well how little credit we could do the place,
we must have been churlish fellows to refuse an invitation so
politely introduced.
The house of the Judge was close by; it was a well-appointed bachelor's
establishment, with a curious collection of old brass warming-pans upon
the walls. Some of these were most elaborately carved. It seemed a
picturesque idea for a collector. You could not help thinking how many
nightcaps had wagged over these warming-pans in past generations; what
jests may have been made and kisses taken, while they were in service;
and how often they had been uselessly paraded in the bed of death. If
they could only speak, at what absurd, indecorous, and tragical scenes
had they not been present!
The wine was excellent. When we made the Judge our compliments upon a
bottle, "I do not give it you as my worst," said he. I wonder when
Englishmen will learn these hospitable graces. They are worth learning;
they set off life, and make ordinary moments ornamental.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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