_The Tout._--I perceive you are no novice. Let us sit down, all three, upon the doorsteps, and reason this matter at length. The position is a little conspicuous, but airy and convenient. (_The Tout seats himself on the second step, the Ingenuous Public and his Wife to right and left of him, one step below._) _The Tout._--Shopping is one of the dearest pleasures of the human heart. _The Wife._--Indeed, Sir, and that it is. _The Tout._--The choice of articles, apart from their usefulness, is an appetising occupation, and to exchange bald, uniform shillings for a fine big, figurative knick-knack, such as a windmill, a gross of green spectacles, or a cocked hat, gives us a direct and emphatic sense of gain. We have had many shillings before, as good as these; but this is the first time we have possessed a windmill. Upon these principles of human nature, Sir, is based the theory of the Charity Bazaar. People were doubtless charitably disposed. The problem was to make the exercise of charity entertaining in itself--you follow me, Madam?--and in the Charity Bazaar a satisfactory solution was attained. The act of giving away money for charitable purposes is, by this admirable invention, transformed into an amusement, and puts on the externals of profitable commerce. You play at shopping a while; and in order to keep up the illusion, sham goods do actually change hands. Thus, under the similitude of a game, I have seen children confronted with the horrors of arithmetic, and even taught to gargle. _The Ingenuous Public._--You expound this subject very magisterially, Sir. But tell me, would it not be possible to carry this element of play still further? and after I had remained a proper time in the Bazaar, and negotiated a sufficient number of sham bargains, would it not be possible to return me my money in the hall? _The Tout._--I question whether that would not impair the humour of the situation. And besides, my dear Sir, the pith of the whole device is to take that money from you. _The Ingenuous Public._--True. But at least the Bazaar might take back the tea-cosies and pen-wipers.