Τοῦτο εἴτε μῦθος εἴτε ἀληθής ἐστι λόγος οὐκ οἶδα. τὸ παρὰ σοῦ δὲ πεποιημένον, τίνα βούλει τὸν Πᾶνα, [D] τίνα δὲ εἶναι τὸν Δία, εἰ μὴ τοῦτο,(261) ὡς ἐσμὲν ἐγώ τε καὶ σύ, σὺ μὲν ὁ Ζεύς, ἐγὼ δὲ ὁ Πάν; ὢ τοῦ γελοίου Ψευδόπανος, γελοιοτέρου μέντοι νὴ τὸν Ἀσκληπιὸν τοῦ πάντα μᾶλλον ἢ Διὸς ἀνθρώπου. ταῦτα οὐκ ἔστιν ἀτεχνῶς ἐκ μαινομένου(262) στόματος οὔτι τὴν ἔνθεον, ἀλλὰ τὴν ἔκπληκτον μανίαν; οὐκ οἶσθα, ὅτι καὶ ὁ Σαλμωνεὺς ἔδωκεν [235] ὑπὲρ τούτων τοῖς θεοῖς δίκην, ὅτι ἄνθρωπος ὢν ἐπεχείρει Ζεὺς εἶναι; τὸ δὲ ἐκ τῶν Ἡσιόδου λεγόμενον ὑπὲρ τῶν ὀνομασάντων ἑαυτοὺς τοῖς τῶν θεῶν ὀνόμασιν, Ἥρας τε καὶ Διός, εἰ μήπω καὶ νῦν ἀκήκοας, ἔχω σοι συγγνῶναι· οὐδὲ γὰρ ἐπαιδοτριβήθης καλῶς οὐδὲ ἔτυχες καθηγεμόνος, ὁποίου περὶ τοὺς ποιητὰς ἐγὼ τουτουὶ τοῦ φιλοσόφου, μεθ᾽ ὃν ἐπὶ τὰ πρόθυρα τῆς φιλοσοφίας ἦλθον ὑπ᾽ ἀνδρὶ τελεσθησόμενος, ὃν νενόμικα τῶν [B] κατ᾽ ἐμαυτὸν πάντων διαφέρειν. ὁ δέ με πρὸ πάντων ἀρετὴν ἀσκεῖν καὶ θεοὺς ἁπάντων τῶν καλῶν νομίζειν ἡγεμόνας ἐδίδασκεν. εἰ μὲν οὖν τι προὔργου πεποίηκεν, αὐτὸς ἂν εἰδείη καὶ πρὸ τούτου γε οἱ βασιλεῖς θεοί· τουτὶ δὲ ἐξῄρει τὸ μανιῶδες καὶ θρασύ, καὶ ἐπειρᾶτό με ποιεῖν ἐμαυτοῦ σωφρονέστερον. ἐγὼ δὲ καίπερ, ὡς οἶσθα, τοῖς ἔξωθεν πλεονεκτήμασιν ἐπτερωμένος ὑπέταξα [C] ὅμως ἐμαυτὸν τῷ καθηγεμόνι καὶ τοῖς ἐκείνου φίλοις καὶ ἡλικιώταις καὶ συμφοιτηταῖς, καὶ ὧν ἤκουον ἐπαινουμένων παρ᾽ αὐτοῦ, τούτων ἔσπευδον ἀκροατὴς εἶναι, καὶ βιβλία ταῦτα ἀνεγίγνωσκον, ὁπόσα αὐτὸς δοκιμάσειεν. (Now whether this be a fable or a true narrative I cannot say. But in your composition, whom do you mean by Pan, and whom by Zeus unless you and I are they, that is, you are Zeus and I am Pan? What an absurd counterfeit Pan! But you are still more absurd, by Asclepius, and very far indeed from being Zeus! Is not all this the utterance of a mouth that foams with morbid rather than inspired madness?(263) Do you not know that Salmoneus(264) in his day was punished by the gods for just this, for attempting, though a mortal man, to play the part of Zeus? Then too there is the account in Hesiod’s poems of those who styled themselves by the names of the gods, even of Hera and of Zeus, but if you have not heard of it till this moment I can excuse you for that. For you have not been well educated, nor did fate bestow on you such a guide to the poets as I had—I mean this philosopher(265) now present: and later on I arrived at the threshold of philosophy to be initiated therein by the teaching of one(266) whom I consider superior to all the men of my own time. He used to teach me to practise virtue before all else, and to regard the gods as my guides to all that is good. Now whether he accomplished anything of real profit he himself must determine, or rather the ruling gods; but at least he purged me of such infatuate folly and insolence as yours, and tried to make me more temperate than I was by nature. And though, as you know, I was armed(267) with great external advantages, nevertheless I