Seeing his father continuing under despondings of spirit (though no Christians that knew him but had a high esteem of his uprightness) he got by himself and spent sometime in wrestling with God, earnestly begging that he would speedily give him some token for good, that he might joyfully and honourably leave this world. After he was risen from his knees, he came down to his father, and asked him, how he felt himself. His father made no answer for sometime, but wept exceedingly, (a passion he was not subject to) and continued for some considerable time weeping, so that he was not able to speak. But at last having recovered himself, he burst out: “O! Son! now it is come, it is come, it is come: I bless God I can die; the spirit of God hath witnessed with my spirit that I am his child. Now I can look up to God as my dear Father, and Christ as my redeemer; I can now say, this is my friend, and this is my beloved. My heart is full, it is brim full, I can hold no more. I know now what that sentence means, The peace of God which passeth understanding; I know now what that white stone is wherein a new name is written, which none know but them that have it, and that fit of weeping which you saw me in, was from overpowering love and joy, so great that I could not contain myself: neither can I express what glorious discoveries God hath made of himself to me. And had that joy been greater, I question whether it would not have separated soul and body. Bless the Lord O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name, that hath pardoned all my sins, and sealed the pardon. He hath healed my wounds, and caused the bones which he had broken to rejoice. Oh! help me to bless the Lord, he hath put a new song into my mouth: now I can die! It is nothing, I bless God I can die. I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ.” You may well think his son’s heart was not a little refreshed to meet the messenger that he had sent to heaven returned back so speedily. After the death of his father, he did what he could to supply his absence, doing the part of a husband, son, and brother; so that he was no small comfort to his poor mother in her disconsolate state, and all the rest of his relations, that had any sense of God upon their spirits. CHAPTER IV. _His return to King’s-college after his father’s death and his temptations._