1. IN the beginning of Autumn 1687, we returned home, and fixed at Perth. Here I was immediately sent to school, and made more progress in learning than before. But as to religion, I continued as unconcerned about, and as averse from it as ever. However I behaved myself under my mother’s eye, when I was with my comrades I took my full liberty; and, notwithstanding my greater knowledge, ran with them into all the same follies and extravagancies. And thus I continued till toward the close of king James’s reign; when the fear of some sudden stroke from the Papists, of which there was every where a great noise, revived my concern about religion. Of this, being somewhat deeper than before, I shall endeavour to give a distinct account. 2. It was about this time that God by the preaching of the word, and by catechizing in publick and private, enlightened my mind farther with the notional knowledge of the law, and of the gospel. And then sin was left without excuse, and conscience being armed with more knowledge, its checks were more frequent and sharp, and not so easily evaded; some touches of sickness too rivetted in me the impressions of frailty and mortality, and the tendency of each of those numerous diseases, to which we are daily exposed. And hereby I was brought into, and kept under continual bondage through fear of death. 3. I was now cast into the most grievous disquietude, having sorrow in my heart daily. I was in a dreadful strait betwixt two, on the one hand, my fears gave an edge to my convictions of sin. This made me attend more to the word of God; the more I attended to it, they increased the more; and I saw there was no way to be freed from them, but by being thoroughly religious. On the other hand if I should engage in religion in earnest, I saw the hazard of suffering, perhaps dying for it. And this I could not think of. Betwixt both I was dreadfully tost, so that for some nights, sleep went from my eyes. There was often imprest on my fancy, one holding a dagger to my breast, with “Quit your religion or die.” And that so strongly, that I have almost fainted under it, being still terribly unresolved what to do. Some times I would let him give the fatal stroke; but then my spirits failed, and my heart sunk within me. At other times I resolved to quit my religion, and take it again when the danger was past. But neither could I find rest here. What thought I, if he destroy me afterward, and so I loose both life and religion? Or what if I die, before the danger is past, and so have no time to take it again.