“Ashamed, to lift my eyes up to heaven. I fell down before the Lord my maker; and I may well say that he waited to be gracious; for before I could utter many words his love filled my heart. I could then look up with confidence, and saw my Father God, smile upon me, and my dear Redeemer at his right hand full of grace and truth for _me_. O how sweetly did the ever blessed Trinity join to bless me! Help me to praise thee, O thou strength of _Israel_.” “God was much with me in private. O what a heaven upon earth is it, to commune with him in prayer, holy reading, and divine meditation. Jesus is a well of life. How blessed is it to hold intimacy with him! This is _paradise_ indeed.” “_Sunday._ It was a glorious sabbath to my soul.” “Part of this day was the happiest I ever yet saw. I could freely depart to be with him whom my soul loveth. Truly I seemed to antedate the sweetness of the celestial felicity, which the glorified spirits enjoy above! My song was praises to my God.” “Had calm repose in God. A day of sore temptation. I was kept, but thro’ momentary watching unto prayer. O what am I! How weak, how blind, how poor! As to _strength_, a bruised reed; for _love_ and _zeal_, as the ♦smoaking flax. But thou, O God, art strong, and in thee is my hope.” ♦ “somaking” replaced with “smoaking” “Ill in body, dark in mind, dead in affections, and sorely troubled with temptations. Yet I was preserved from inclining to iniquity with my heart.” “_Sunday._ My soul agonized to enter into the rest of the people of God. I saw him by faith, and the promises were strongly brought to my remembrance, especially, ‘Ask what you will, and it shall be done unto you.’” “_1753. March 7._ In the morning there was an open intercourse between God and my soul, which for some hours remained undisturbed. About noon I felt sore war between nature and grace; so that I was brought low. Nature would have me manage for myself, grace was for casting all my care upon God. O thou author of every good gift, send me help from thy holy place to subdue the old man. Take away the perverseness of my own natural will, and make me lowly and patient as thou my Lord art. Thou art the source of grace and of goodness. In thee, O Lamb of God, is all I want.” “_Thursday 8._ Poured out my soul before the Lord, who gave me to feel hearty contrition with earnest desires to be sanctified wholly. For “O how wavering is my mind Tost about with every wind? O how quickly doth my heart From the living God depart.” “Son of God, set me free, and knit my soul to thyself!” “_Saturday 10._ The Lord sweetly refreshed my spirit, I was strongly moved to pour out my soul, for my enemies, and all that forget God. There was a burning in my heart after all the life of God. Nothing appeared so desirable as holiness. O God take the whole capacity of my soul, and possess it by thy spirit.”