“_October 6._ I rose with much sorrow and concern; and with shame and much brokenness of heart, bowed my soul before the Lord. My heaviness endured as it were but a moment, and the divine light shone transcendently bright upon my soul. Praying with a few friends, my joy in the Lord overcame my feeble body. And it proved to be a preparation for a trial, which came soon after. I had sweet communion with Jesus, and three of his redeemed ones this day. In the evening I pressed upon the people the necessity of _inward life_, from _Acts v. 20._” “My soul was mightily encouraged while I expounded, _John xiv. 21‒23._ Inward and constant liberty is what I want; to be always recollected, having my mind stayed upon God. I would live like an angel below. For some moments indeed, I often love and rejoice in a wonderful manner: but alas, ‘How soon it dies away.’ I become comparatively cold, and can neither pray with freedom, nor rejoice with reverence.” “Still, nature, the devil and grace, are striving with me: Christ however has the upper-hand; but I want him ‘to live and reign, the Lord of _every motion_ of my soul.’” “I prayed with my kindred at taking my leave of them.¹ My brother and sister were ill, and my mother weeping after me. I found a great struggle, and believe I should have stayed, but for those scriptures, _He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me_. And, _Let the dead bury their dead; but go thou and preach the kingdom of God_. My heart felt pain and sorrow: but I took up my cross, and went immediately to _Bellygarane_ (where were a colony of _Germans_) and preached that night. O what is needful for a minister of Jesus! What faith, love, purity, divine light, life and strength to finish his course with joy!” ¹ He was then going to _England_ the third, and which was the last time. “Meeting the penitents, I could hardly speak in the last prayer, I was so overpowered with the presence and majesty of God.” “I rose early this morning, after watering my pillow with my tears more than ever I remember to have done before.” “Throughout the various exercises of the day I had strong assurance, that the Lord would eternally save me; especially as I sat at dinner, conversing with my brethren of the things of God.” “Having this evening to myself without preaching (a rare thing with him) I shut myself up, and sought the Lord with prayers and tears. Shew me, my Lord, thy glory, or let me die that I may see thee! If I cannot perfectly love thee, and do thy will upon earth, send for me and take my soul to heaven. But Lord, God, hast thou not spoken by _Moses_, _Deuteronomy xxx. 6._ and by _Ezekiel xxxiv. 23‒32._ If these are thy words and promises, I pray and plead, that they may be fulfilled in me, according to their utmost extent, O come and baptize me with fire!”