NOW, both his sins and convictions daily encreased upon him. The desire of the flesh in particular raged in his nature, and it wanted not its frequent and prevalent incitements. Now likewise he began to assume the man, and kept more company than before, which not a little inflamed his besetting sin. Temptations from without were multiplied, and there wanted not opportunities and solicitations from the devil and nature to defile himself before the Lord. But still the preventing grace of God restrained him from sinning against him, in the actual transgression. This indeed, tho’ it did not, could not, exempt from guilt, fear and shame, considering the purity of the gospel law, nevertheless became justly matter of his thanksgiving to God. “I do (says he) praise God unfeignedly, for with-holding me from my own actual wickedness, and preventing my leading others into the cursed and detestable abomination. But I abhor and condemn myself for the concupiscence and wickedness of my heart, which (with grief and horror God knoweth I speak it!) discovered itself in other respects, such as it is a shame even to mention. Of this no human eye could be a witness.” But God, his holy angels, and his own conscience were more than ten thousand witnesses against him. And now, at length, his life became a burden to him, almost insupportable. His true character at this time was, _O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me!_ He felt “indwelling sin, indwelling hell,” and breathed in many a groan, O what is life without my God? A burden more than I can bear. I struggle to throw of my load, Me from myself I strive to tear! “The Spirit of God (says he) deeply wounded me. _The arrows of the almighty_ stuck fast in me, and my very bones trembled because of my sin. I was persuaded in my heart that this commotion was conviction for my sin; but had little conception that the Holy Spirit was the chief agent in the work: for alas! So great was my ignorance that I did not know there was _any Holy Ghost_ for _me_ to receive.” “While I was thus in the midst of my extremity, I _confessed_ to the priest according to the custom of the church of _Rome_. He advised me to say many prayers (as he termed counting my beads) but alas! This did not do: and indeed how should it? I was brought into captivity through the power of _sin which reigned in my members_. And even my multiplied prayers could be little else than an abomination to the Lord, while neither the form, nor the matter of them was according to the will of God. Many of them being little else than vain repetitions, and babblings to physicians of no value, in this respect; which therefore left me under the power of _sin and death_.”