Saturday, September 27. I spent this as the week past, under a great degree of bodily weakness, exercised with a violent cough, and a considerable fever; had no appetite to any kind of food; and frequently brought up what I ate, as soon as it was down: I was able, however, to ride over to my people, about two miles, every day, and take some care of those who were then at work upon a small house for me to reside in amongst the Indians¹. I was sometimes scarce able to walk, and never able to sit up the whole day. Yet I was calm and composed, and but little exercised with melancholy, as in former seasons. It was many times a comfort to me, that _life_ and _death_ did not depend upon my choice. I was pleased to think, that he who is infinitely wise, had the determination of this matter; and that I had no trouble, to consider and weigh things upon all sides, in order to make the choice, whether I would live or die. I could with great composure look _death_ in the face, and frequently with sensible joy. Oh, how blessed it is, to be _habitually prepared_ for death! The Lord grant, that I may be _actually ready also_! ¹ _This was the |fourth| house he built for his residence among the Indians._ Lord’s day, September 28. I rode to my people; and, though under much weakness, discoursed about half an hour; at which season divine power seemed to attend the word; but being extreme weak, I was obliged to desist; and after a turn of faintness, with much difficulty rode to my lodgings, where betaking myself to my bed, I lay in a burning fever, and almost delirious, for several hours, till towards morning, my fever went off with a violent sweat. I have often been feverish after preaching: but this was the most distressing turn, that ever preaching brought upon me. Yet I felt perfectly at rest in my own mind, because I had made my utmost attempts to speak for God. Tuesday, September 30. Yesterday and to-day I was scarce able to sit up half the day. But ♦I was in a composed frame remarkably free from dejection and melancholy; as God has been pleased to deliver me from these unhappy glooms, in the general course of my present weakness, and also from a peevish spirit. Oh that I may always be able to say, “Lord, not my will, but thine be done!” ♦ “I” replaced with “I was” and 2nd “was” deleted per Errata