Thursday, March 18. I rode to my people: and on Friday morning walked about among them and inquired into their state and concerns; and found an additional weight on my spirits upon hearing some things disagreeable. I endeavoured to go to God with my distresses: but notwithstanding, my mind continued very gloomy. About ten o’clock, I called my people together, and after having explained and sung a psalm, I prayed with them. There was a considerable deal of affection among them; I doubt not, that which was more than merely natural. [This was the _last interview_ that he ever had with his people. About eleven o’clock the same day, he left them: and the next day came to Elisabeth-Town.] Saturday, March 28. I was taken this morning with a violent griping. These pains were extreme and constant, for several hours: so that it seemed impossible for me, without a miracle, to live twenty-four hours. I lay confined to my bed, the whole day: but it pleased God to bless means for the abatement of my distress. I was exceedingly weakened by this pain, and continued so for several days following. In this distressed case, _death_ appeared agreeable to me: as an entrance into a place “where the weary are at rest;” and, I had some relish of the entertainments of the heavenly state; so that by these I was allured and drawn, as well as driven by the fatigues of life. Oh, how happy it is, to be drawn by desires of a state of perfect holiness! Saturday, April 4. I was uneasy, by reason of the misemployment of time: and yet knew not what to do: I longed to spend time in fasting and prayer; but alas, I had not bodily strength! Oh, how blessed a thing is it, to enjoy peace of conscience! How dreadful is a want of inward peace! It is impossible, I find, to enjoy this happiness without _redeeming time_, and maintaining a spiritual frame of mind. Lord’s-day, April 5. It grieved me, to find myself so inconceivably barren. My soul thirsted for grace; but, alas, how far was I from obtaining what I saw so excellent! I was ready to despair of ever being holy; and yet my soul was desirous of _following hard after God_; but never did I see myself so far from _having apprehended, or being already perfect_. The Lord’s supper being this day administered, in the season of communion, I enjoyed warmth of affection, and felt a tender _love to the brethren_; and, to the glorious Redeemer, the _first-born_ among them. I endeavoured then to _bring forth_ mine and _his enemies_, and _slay them before him_; and found great freedom in begging deliverance from this spiritual death, as well as in asking favours for my friends and congregation, and the church of Christ in general.