In the preceeding week, I enjoyed some comfortable seasons of meditation. One morning the cause of God appeared exceeding precious to me: I saw also, that God has an infinitely greater concern for it, than I could possibly have; that if I have any true love to this blessed interest, it is only a drop derived from that ocean. Hence I was ready to “lift up my head with joy;” and conclude, “Well, if God’s cause be so dear and precious to him, he will promote it.” [He was advised by physicians still to continue riding as what would tend to prolong his life. He was at a loss for some time which way to bend his course; but finally determined to ride to Boston; we having concluded that one of this family should go with him and be helpful to him in his low state.] Tuesday, June 9. I set out on a journey from Northampton to Boston. Having now continued to ride for some considerable time, I felt myself much better, and I found that in proportion to the prospect I had of being restored to a state of usefulness, I desired the continuance of life: but death appeared inconceivably more desirable to me, than a useless life; yet blessed be God, I found my heart fully resigned to this greatest of afflictions, if God saw fit thus to deal with me. Friday, ♦June 12. I arrived in Boston this day, somewhat fatigued with my journey. There is no rest but in God; fatigues of body, and anxieties of mind, attend us, both in town and country. ♦ “July” replaced with “June” On Thursday, June 18. I was taken exceeding ill, and brought to the gates of death, by the breaking of some small ulcers in my lungs, as my physician supposed. In this weak state I continued several weeks, and was frequently so low, as to be utterly speechless; and even after I had so far revived as to step out of doors, I was exercised every day with a faint turn, which continued usually four or five hours; at which times, though I could say _Yes_ or _No_, yet I could not speak one sentence, without making stops for breath; and divers times in this season, my friends gathered round my bed to see me breathe my last. How I was, the first day or two of my illness, with regard to the exercise of reason, I scarcely know; but the third day, and constantly afterwards, for four or five weeks together, I enjoyed as much serenity of mind, and clearness of thought, as perhaps I ever did in my life. And I think my mind never penetrated with so much ease and freedom into divine things, and I never felt so capable of demonstrating the truth of many important doctrines of the gospel as now.