*Friday, April 8. I was exceedingly pressed under a sense of my _party-spirit_, in times past, while I attempted to promote the cause of God: its vile nature appeared in such odious colours, that my very heart was pained: I saw how poor souls stumbled over it into everlasting destruction, and was constrained to make that prayer in the bitterness of my soul, “O Lord, deliver me from blood-guiltiness.” I saw my desert of hell on this account. My soul was full of anguish and shame before God, that I had spent so much time in conversation tending only to promote a _party-spirit_. I saw I had not duly prized mortification, self-denial, resignation under all adversities, meekness, love, candour, and holiness of heart and life.――Of late, I have thought much of having the kingdom of Christ advanced in the world; but now I saw I had enough to do myself. The Lord be merciful to me a sinner. Lord’s-day, April 10. I preached to the Indians, both forenoon and afternoon. They behaved soberly in general: two or three appeared under some concern; with whom I discoursed privately; and one told me, “her heart had cried, ever since she heard me preach first.” Wednesday, April 13. I verily thought I was the meanest, vilest, most helpless, ignorant creature living. And yet I knew what God had done for my soul: though sometimes I was assaulted with doubts, whether it was possible for such a wretch as I, to be in a state of grace. Tuesday, April 19. In the morning, I enjoyed sweet repose in God; felt some confidence; and was refreshed and comforted. My soul was lifted above the _deep waters_, wherein it has been so long almost drowned; I found myself engaged for the advancement of Christ’s kingdom in my own soul, more than in the Heathen world. Wednesday, April 20. I set apart this day for fasting and prayer, to bow my soul before God for grace; especially that all my inward distresses might be sanctified to my soul. I endeavoured also to remember the goodness of God to me in the year past. Having obtained help of God, I am now arrived at the age of twenty-five years. My soul was pained, to think of my barrenness; that I have lived so little to the glory of the eternal God. I spent the day in the woods alone, and there poured out my complaint to God. O that God would enable me to live to his glory for the future! *Friday, April 22. My leanness testifies against me! My soul abhors itself for its unlikeness to God, its inactivity and sluggishness. When I have done all, what an unprofitable servant am I! I groan to see the hours of the day roll away, because I do not fill them, in spirituality and heavenly-mindedness. And yet I long they should speed their pace, to hasten me to my eternal home, where I may fill up all my moments, for God and his glory.