*Tuesday, May 10. I was extremely pressed with a sense of guilt, pollution, blindness; the sins of my youth were set in order before me; they went over my head a burden, too heavy for me to bear. Almost all the actions of my life past seem to be covered over with sin and guilt; and those of them that I performed in the most conscientious manner, now fill me with shame and confusion, Oh! the _pride, selfishness, ignorance, bitterness, party-zeal_, and _the want of love, candour, meekness_, and _gentleness_, that have attended my attempts to promote religion; and this when I had real assistance from above, and some sweet intercourse with heaven! But, what corrupt mixtures attended my best duties! After several weeks I found my distance from the Indians a very great disadvantage, as I was obliged to travel forward and backward almost daily on foot having no pasture in which I could keep my horse. And after all my pains, I could not be with them in the evening and morning, which were hours when they could best attend my instructions. I therefore resolved to remove, and live with or near the Indians, that I might watch when they were at home and take that time for their instruction. Accordingly I removed and for a time lived with them in one of their _wigwams_: not long after I built me a small house, where I spent the remainder of that year alone; my interpreter (who was an Indian) choosing rather to live in a wigwam among his own countrymen. But although the difficulties of this solitary way of living are not the least, yet I can truly say the burden I felt respecting my _great work_ among the poor Indians, the fear and concern that continually hung upon my spirit, lest they should be prejudiced against Christianity, by means of some who (although they are called _Christians_) had rather the Indians should remain heathens, that they may with more ease cheat them; the fear and concern I felt in these respects, were much more pressing to me, than all the difficulties that attended the circumstances of my living. As to the _state_ or _temper_ of _mind_, in which I found these Indians, at my first coming among them, it was much more encouraging, than expected. Their prejudices against Christianity, were in a great measure removed by the long continued labours of the Rev. Mr. Sergeant among a number of the same tribe, in a place more than twenty miles distant: by which means, these were in some degree, prepared to entertain the truths of Christianity instead of objecting against them as is common with them at first. Some of them appeared well disposed toward religion, and seemed pleased with my coming among them.