[One main occasion of that distressing gloominess, next to natural ♦melancholy, was reflecting on his past errors and misguided zeal at _college_. Therefore he repeated his endeavours for reconciliation with the governors of the college. And although he had been at New-Haven, in June, and had attempted a reconciliation; yet in the beginning of July, he made another journey thither, and renewed his attempt, but still in vain.] ♦ “melancholly” replaced with “melancholy” Saturday, July 30. Just at night, I moved into _my own house_, and lodged there; and I found it much better spending the time alone at my own house, than in the _wigwam_ where I was before. Wednesday, August 3. I am now uninterruptly alone; and find my retirement comfortable. I have enjoyed more sense of divine things within a few days past, than for some time before. I longed after holiness, humility and meekness: O that God would enable me to “pass the time of my sojourning here in his fear,” and always _live to him_! *Thursday, August 4. I have generally found the more I do in secret prayer, the more I enjoy of a spirit of prayer; and I frequently have found the contrary, when with journeying or otherwise, I have been deprived of retirement. A seasonable steady performance of secret duties in their proper hours, and a careful improvement of all time, filling up every hour with some profitable labour, either of heart, head, or hands, are excellent means of spiritual peace and boldness before God. “Christ” indeed “is our peace, and by him we have boldness of access to God;” but a _good conscience void of offence_, is an excellent preparation for an approach to the divine presence. Filling up our time _with_ and _for_ God, is the way to rise up and lie down in peace. Saturday, August 13. I was enabled in secret prayer to raise my soul to God, with desire and delight. It was indeed a blessed season to my soul: I found the comfort of being a Christian: “I counted the sufferings of the present life not worthy to be compared with the glory” of divine enjoyments even in this world. All my past sorrows seemed to disappear, and I “remembered no more the sorrow for joy.”――With what a filial tenderness, the soul hangs on, and confides in _the Rock of ages_, at such a season, that he will “never leave it nor forsake it,” that he will cause all things to work together for its good; I longed that others should know how good a God the Lord is. My soul was full of tenderness and love, even to the most inveterate of my enemies. I longed that God should do just as he pleased with me and every thing else. I felt exceeding serious, calm, and peaceful, and encouraged to press after holiness as long as I live, whatever difficulties and trials may be in my way.