Monday, August 15. In my weak state of body, I was not a little distressed for want of suitable food. I am forced to go or send ten or fifteen miles for all the bread I eat; and sometimes it is mouldy and sour before I eat it, if I get any considerable quantity: and then again I have none for some days together, for want of an opportunity to send for it. And this was my case now: but through divine goodness I had some Indian _meal_, of which I made little cakes, and fried them. And I felt contented with my circumstances, and sweetly resigned to God. In prayer I enjoyed great freedom; and blessed God as much for my present circumstances, as if I had been a king, and I never feel comfortably, but when I find my soul going forth after God: if I cannot be holy, I must be miserable for ever. Lord’s day, August 21. I fell down before the Lord, and groaned under my own vileness, barrenness, deadness, and felt as if I was guilty of foul murder, in speaking to immortal souls in such a manner as I had done.――I was very full of pain in the evening; and my soul mourned that I had spent so much time to so little profit. *Monday, August 22. I had intense breathings of soul after holiness, and very clear manifestations of my utter inability to work it in myself. O, with what tenderness the love and desire of holiness fills the soul! I wanted to wing out of myself to God, or rather to get a conformity to him: but, alas! I cannot add to my stature in grace one cubit. However, my soul can never leave striving for it; or at least groaning, that it cannot obtain purity of heart. *Tuesday, August 23. I poured out my soul for all the world, friends, and enemies. My soul was concerned for Christ’s kingdom that it might appear in the whole earth. And I abhorred the very thought of a _party_ in religion! Let the truth of God appear, wherever it is; and God have the glory for ever. Wednesday, August 24. I thought, if God should say, “You shall in a few days go into eternity,” my soul would leap for joy. O that I may both “desire to be dissolved,” and “wait patiently all the days of my appointed time till my change come!”――But, alas! I am very unfit for the business and blessedness of heaven.――O for more holiness! *Thursday, August 25. I find it is impossible to enjoy peace and tranquility of mind without a careful improvement of time. This is really an imitation of God and Christ Jesus: “My father worketh hitherto, and I work,” says our Lord. And, if we would be like God, we must see that we fill up our time for him.――I daily long to dwell in perfect light and love. In the mean time, my soul mourns that I make so little preparation for the world of blessedness: I see and know that I am a barren tree in God’s vineyard, and that he might justly say, “Cut it down.” O that God would make me more lively and vigorous in grace, for his own glory!