*Friday, October 26. In the morning my soul was melted with a sense of divine goodness to such a vile worm; I delighted to lean upon God, and place my whole trust in him: my soul was exceedingly grieved for sin, and prized and longed after holiness; it wounded my heart deeply, yet sweetly, to think how I had abused a kind God. I longed to be perfectly holy, that I might not grieve a gracious God: I longed for holiness more for this end, than for my happiness sake: and yet this was my greatest happiness, nevermore to dishonour, but always to glorify the blessed God. Wednesday, October 31. I was sensible of my barrenness: my soul failed when I remembered the fervency I had enjoyed. Oh (I thought) if I could but be spiritual, warm, heavenly minded, and affectionately breathing after God, this would be better than life to me! My soul longed exceedingly for death, to be loosed from this dulness, and made ever active in the service of God. I seemed to live for nothing, and to do no good: and Oh, the burden of such a life! Oh, death, death, my kind friend, hasten and deliver me from dull mortality, and make me spiritual and vigorous to eternity! Thursday, November 1. I felt life, and longings after God; I longed to be always solemn, devout, and heavenly-minded; and was afraid to leave off praying, lest I should again lose a sense of the sweet things of God. Friday, November 2. I was exercised sorely with some things that I thought myself most of all freed from. And thus I have ever found it, when I have thought the battle was over, and the conquest was gained, and so let down my watch, the enemy has risen up and done me the greatest injury. [The next day he set out on a journey to New-York, to meet the Presbytery there: and was gone from home more than a fortnight. He seemed to enter on this journey with great reluctance; fearing it would cool his religious affections. But, yet, in his journey he had special seasons of God’s gracious presence. He was greatly fatigued therein by cold and storms: and when he returned from New-York to New-Jersey, was very ill for some time.] Wednesday, November 21. I rode from Newark to Rockciticus in the cold, and was almost overcome with it. But I enjoyed sweetness in conversation with Mr. Jones: my soul loves the people of God, and especially the ministers, who feel the same trials that I do.