_May 2._ I BELIEVE, while memory remains in me, gratitude will continue. I know, many are the troubles of the righteous: but out of them all doth the Lord deliver. I have never desired to hide any distress or difficulty from you at any time. Is this any reason, why you should tell _me_, what those are which now surround you? If I could remove the least of them by knowing it, I should be importunate. From the time you preached on _Galatians_ v. 5. I saw clearly the true state of my soul. That sermon described my heart, and what it wanted to be truly happy. You read Mr. _M._’s letter, and it described the religion which I desired. From that time the prize appeared in view, and I was enabled to follow hard after it. I was kept watching unto prayer, sometimes in much distress, at others in patient expectation of the blessing. For some days before you left _London_, my soul was stayed on a promise I had applied to me in prayer, _The Lord whom ye seek shall suddenly come to his temple_. I believed he would, and that he would sit there as a refiner’s fire. The Tuesday after you went, I thought I could not sleep, unless he fulfilled his word that night. I never knew, as I did then, the force of these words, _Be still, and know that I am God_. I became nothing before him, and enjoyed perfect calmness in my soul. I knew not whether he had destroyed my sin; but I desired to know, that I might praise him. Yet I soon found the return of unbelief, and groaned, being burdened. On Wednesday I went to _London_, and sought the Lord without ceasing. I promised, if he would save me from sin, I would praise him. I could part with all things, so I might win Christ. But I found all these pleas nothing worth, and that if he saved _me_, it must be freely for his own name’s sake. On Thursday, after I had been with _S. Guildford_, and _B. Dixon_, I was so much tempted, that I thought of destroying myself, or never conversing more with the people of God. And yet I had no doubt of his pardoning love: but “’twas worse than death my God to love, and not my God alone.” On Friday my distress was deepened. I endeavoured to pray, and could not. I went to Mrs. _D._ who prayed for me, and told me, it was the death of nature. I opened the bible on _the fearful and unbelieving――shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone_. I could not bear it. I opened it again on _Mark xvi. 6, 7._ _Be not affrighted: Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth.――Go your way; tell his disciples, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him._ I was encouraged, and enabled to pray, believing I should see Jesus at home. I returned that night, and found Mrs. _G._ She prayed for me: and the Predestinarian had no plea, but, “Lord, thou art no respecter of persons.” He proved he was not, by blessing _me_. I was in a moment enabled to lay hold on Jesus Christ, and found salvation by simple faith.