[Illustration: SNIFFING A BIRTHDAY.] STANZAS ON COMING OF AGE. “Twiddle’em, Twaddle’em, Twenty-one.” _Nurse._ O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day! most woeful day That ever, ever, I did yet behold! O day! O day! O day! O hateful day Never was seen so black a day as this! O woeful day! O woeful day! * * * * * _Musician._ Faith, we may put up our pipes and be gone. _Nurse._ Honest good fellows, ah! put up, put up! For well you know this is a pitiful case. ROMEO AND JULIET. To-day it is my natal day, Three ’prenticeships have past away, A part in work, a part in play, Since I was bound to life! This first of May I come of age, A man, I enter on the stage Where human passions fret and rage, To mingle in the strife. It ought to be a happy date, My friends, they all congratulate That I am come to “Man’s Estate,” To some, a grand event; But ah! to me descent allots No acres, no paternal spots In Beds, Bucks, Herts, Wilts, Essex, Notts, Hants, Oxon, Berks, or Kent. From John o’Groat’s to Land’s End search, I have not one rod, pole, or perch, To pay my rent, or tithe to church, That I can call my own. Not common-right for goose or ass; Then what is Man’s Estate? Alas! Six feet by two of mould and grass When I am dust and bone. Reserve the feast! The board forsake! Ne’er tap the wine--don’t cut the cake, No toasts or foolish speeches make, At which my reason spurns. Before this happy term you praise, And prate about returns and days, Just o’er my vacant rent-roll gaze, And sum up my returns. I know where great estates descend That here is Boyhood’s legal end, And easily can comprehend How “Manors make the Man,” But as for me, I was not born To quit-rent of a peppercorn, And gain no ground this blessed morn From Beersheba to Dan. No barrels broach--no bonfires make! To roast a bullock for my sake, Who in the country have no stake, Would be too like a quiz; No banners hoist--let off no gun-- Pitch no marquee--devise no fun-- But think when man is Twenty-One What new delights are his! What is the moral legal fact-- Of age to-day, I’m free to act For self--free, namely, to contract Engagements, bonds, and debts: I’m free to give my I O U, Sign, draw, accept, as majors do; And free to lose my freedom too For want of due assets.