“No Cow! there an’t no Cow, then the more’s the shame and pity. Hang you and the R. A.’s, and all the Hanging Committee! No Cow--but hold your tongue, for you needn’t talk to me-- You can’t talk up the Cow, you can’t, to where it ought to be-- I haven’t seen a picture high or low, or any how, Or in any of the rooms to be compared with David’s Cow! You may talk of your Landseers, and of your Coopers, and your Wards, Why hanging is too good for them, and yet here they are on cords! They’re only fit for window frames, and shutters, and street doors, David will paint ’em any day at Red Lions or Blue Boars,-- Why Morland was a fool to him, at a little pig or sow-- It’s really hard it an’t hung up--I could cry about the Cow! But I know well what it is, and why--they’re jealous of David’s fame, But to vent it on the Cow, poor thing, is a cruelty and a shame. Do you think it might hang by-and-by, if you cannot hang it now? David has made a party up, to come and see his Cow. If it only hung three days a week, for an example to the learners, Why can’t it hang up, turn about, with that picture of Mr. Turner’s? Or do you think from Mr. Etty, you need apprehend a row, If now and then you cut him down to hang up David’s Cow? I can’t think where their tastes have been, to not have such a creature, Although I say, that should not say, it was prettier than Nature; It must be hung--and shall be hung, for Mr. H----, I vow, I daren’t take home the catalogue, unless it’s got the Cow! As we only want it to be seen, I should not so much care, If it was only round the stone man’s neck, a-coming up the stair, Or down there in the marble room where all the figures stand, Where one of them three Graces might just hold it in her hand-- Or may be Bailey’s Charity the favour would allow, It would really be a charity to hang up David’s cow. We haven’t no where else to go if you don’t hang it here, The Water-Colour place allows no oilman to appear-- And the British Gallery sticks to Dutch, Teniers, and Gerrard Douw, And the Suffolk Gallery will not do--it’s not a Suffolk Cow: I wish you’d seen him painting her, he hardly took his meals Till she was painted on the board correct from head to heels; His heart and soul was in his Cow, and almost made him shabby, He hardly whipp’d the boys at all, or help’d to nurse the babby. And when he had her all complete and painted over red, He got so grand, I really thought him going off his head. Now hang it, Mr. Hilton, do just bang it any how, Poor David, he will hang himself, unless you hang his Cow.-- And if it’s unconvenient and drawn too big by half-- David shan’t send next year except a very little calf.” [Illustration: BEEF A-LA-DAUBE.] [Illustration: A FIELD OFFICER.] THE YEOMANRY.