My dear, do pull the bell, And pull it well, And send those noisy children all up stairs, Now playing here like bears-- You George, and William, go into the grounds, Charles, James, and Bob are there,--and take your string, Drive horses, or fly kites, or anything, You’re quite enough to play at hare and hounds,-- You little May, and Caroline, and Poll, Take each your doll, And go, my dears, into the two-back pair, Your sister Margaret’s there-- Harriet and Grace, thank God, are both at school, At far off Ponty Pool-- I want to read, but really can’t get on-- Let the four twins, Mark, Matthew, Luke and John, Go--to their nursery--go--I never can Enjoy my Malthus among such a clan! [Illustration: LAYING THE FIRST STONE OF AN HOSPITAL.] Oh Mr. Malthus, I agree In everything I read with thee! The world’s too full, there is no doubt, And want’s a deal of thinning out,-- It’s plain--as plain as Harrow’s Steeple-- And I agree with some thus far, Who say the Queen’s too popular, That is,--she has too many people. There are too many of all trades, Too many bakers, Too many every-thing-makers, But not too many undertakers,-- Too many boys,-- Too many hobby-de-hoys,-- Too many girls, men, widows, wives and maids,-- There is a dreadful surplus to demolish, And yet some Wrongheads, With thick not long heads, Poor Metaphysicians! Sign petitions Capital punishment to abolish; And in the face of censuses such vast ones New hospitals contrive, For keeping life alive, Laying first stones, the dolts! instead of last ones!-- Others, again, in the same contrariety, Deem that of all Humane Society They really deserve thanks, Because the two banks of the Serpentine, By their design, Are Saving Banks. Oh! were it given but to me to weed The human breed, And root out here and there some cumbering elf. I think I could go through it, And really do it With profit to the world and to myself,-- For instance, the unkind among the Editors, My debtors, those I mean to say Who cannot or who will not pay, And all my creditors.