The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
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The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
A likelier chance next offered. There was a difference of opinion,
whether Bohea would start for the Cup, and his noble owner had
privately and positively assured me that he would. I therefore betted
freely that he would _run_ for the Plate, and he _walked_ over!--Pay
again! N.B. I found, when it was too late, that I should not have paid
in this case, but I did.
The Great St. Leger was still in reserve. Somewhat desperate, I betted
round, in sums of the same shape, and my best winner became first
favourite at the start. Never shall I forget the sight! I saw him come
in ten lengths a-head of everything--hollow! hollow! I had no voice to
shout with, and it was fortunate. Man and horse went, as usual, after
the race, to be weighed, and were put into the scale. They rose a
little in our eyes, and sunk proportionably in our estimation. Roguery
was sniffed--the Jockey Club was appealed to, and it gave the stakes to
the second horse. All bets went with the stakes, and so--Pay again!
It was time to cut the turf--and I was in a mood for burning it too.
I was done by Heath, but the impression on my fortune was not in the
finished style. I now turned my attention to aquatics, and having been
unfortunate at the One Tun, tried my luck in a vessel of twenty. I
became a member of a Yacht Club, made matches which I lost--and sailed
for a Cup at the Cowes’ Regatta, but carried away nothing but my own
bowsprit. Other boats showed more speed, but mine most bottom; for
after the match it upset, and I was picked up by a party of fishermen,
who spared my life and took all I had, by way of teaching me, that a
preserving is not a saving.--Pay again!
[Illustration: THE COWS’ REGATTA.]
It was time to dispose of The Lucky Lass. I left her to the mate,
with peremptory orders to make a sale of her;--an instruction he
fulfilled by making all the sail on her he could, and disposing of
her--by contract--to a rock, while he was threading the Needles. In
the meantime I betook myself to the chase. Sir W. W. had just cut
his pack, and I undertook to deal with the dogs:--but I found dog’s
meat a dear item, though my friends killed my hunters for me, and I
boil’d my own horses. The subscribers, moreover, were not punctual,
and whatever differences fell out, I was obliged to make them up.--Pay
again! At last I happened to have a dispute with a brother Nimrod as
to the capability of his Brown and mine, and we agreed to decide their
respective rates, as church rates, by a Steeple Chase. The wager was
heavy. I rode for the wrong steeple--leapt a dozen gates--and succeeded
in clearing my own pocket.--Pay again!
[Illustration: A PARTY OF PLEASURE.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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