The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
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The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
It was a considerable time before I could muster resolution to peruse
the speeches, the tone of which my prophetic soul forestalled as
less resembling the notes of the feminine dulcimer, or piano, or
hurdy-gurdy, than those of the masculine brazen trumpet. And should
this seem a _harsh_ anticipation, it must be remembered that I had been
prepared by no previous rehearsals for such a burst of female oratory.
If I had met with a paragraph hinting that certain females had been
observed in rough weather, mysteriously haunting the sea-beach, say of
Scarborough for instance, and gesticulating, as if on speaking terms
with the billows, my classical reminiscences might have recalled the
system by which Demosthenes braced himself against the murmurs and
roarings of a popular assembly--and I might have comprehended that the
hoarse waves were resorted to as oratorical _breakers-in_. But there
was no such warning; and consequently the report came upon me with
all the startling suddenness and crash of a sempstress’s splitting a
piece of stout calico. There was something astounding in the bare idea
of a female voice, so commonly requiring a high pressure to induce
it to sing in private circles, volunteering in public assembly to
spout! A maiden speech even in a man is apt to excite a maidenly fever
of nervousness; and many a rough and tough old sea-commander, who
would have returned a broadside without flinching, has been converted
physiognomically into an admiral of the blue, white, and red, and has
found a bung in his speaking-trumpet, on having to reply to a volley
of thanks. The very subject, so steeped in party spirit,--for alas! it
is undeniable that the woes and wants of the poor have become a party
question,--the very subject so steeped in party spirit, always a raw
unrectified article, and at the present time distilled particularly
above proof, seemed peculiarly unfit for womanly lips. In short I
concluded primâ facie, that a female who could come forward, without
a rehearsal all along shore, or practise on provincial boards, as a
public orator, and on political topics, must needs be what some old
writer calls “a mankind woman,”--and akin to the Hannah Snells and Mary
Ann Talbots, that have heretofore enlisted in our army and navy. How
far I was justified in these forebodings a few extracts will serve to
show.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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