Instead of _journeys_, people now May go upon a _Gurney_, With steam to do the horses’ work, By _powers of attorney_; Tho’ with a load it may explode, And you may all be _un_-done! And find you’re going _up to Heav’n_, Instead of _up to London_! To speak of every kind of coach, It is not my intention; But there is still one vehicle Deserves a little mention; The world a sage has called a stage, With all its living lumber, And Malthus swears it always bears Above the proper number. The law will transfer house or land For ever and a day hence, For lighter things, watch, brooches, rings, You’ll never want conveyance: Ho! stop the thief! my handkerchief! It is no sight for laughter-- Away it goes, and leaves my nose To join in running after. [Illustration: VAN DEMON’S LAND.] A LETTER FROM A SETTLER FOR LIFE IN VAN DIEMEN’S LAND. _To Mary, at No 45 Mount Street Grosvenor Square._ DEAR MARY Littel did I Think wen I advertisd in the Tims for annother Plaice of taking wan in Vandemin’s land. But so it his and Hear I am amung Kangerooses and Savidges and other Forriners. But goverment offering to Yung Wimmin to Find them in Vittles and Drink and Close and Husbands was turms not to be sneazed at, so I rit to the Outlandish Seckertary and he was so Kind as Grant. Wen this cums to Hand go to Number 22 Pimpernel Plaice And mind and go betwixt Six and sevin For your own Sake cos then the fammilys Having Diner give my kind love to betty Housmad and Say I am safe of my Jurney to Forrin parts And I hope master as never Mist the wine and brought Them into trubble on My accounts. But I did not Like to leav for Ever And Ever without treeting my Frends and feller servents and Drinking to all their fairwells. In my Flury wen the Bell rung I forgot to take My own Key out of missis Tekaddy but I hope sum wan had the thought And it is in Good hands but shall Be obleeged to no. Lickwise thro my Loness of Sperrits my lox of Hares quite went out of My Hed as was prommist to Be giv to Gorge and Willum and the too Futmen at the too Next dores But I hop and Trust betty pacifid them with lox of Her hone as I begd to Be dun wen I rit Her from dover. O Mary wen I furst see the dover Wite clifts out of site wat with squemishnes and Felings I all most repentid givin Ingland warning And had douts if I was goin to better my self. But the stewerd was verry kind tho I could make Him no returns xcept by Dustin the ship for Him And helpin to wash up his dishes. Their was 50 moor Young Wimmin of us and By way of passing tim We agread to tell our Histris of our selves taken by Turns But they all turned out Alick we had All left on acount of Testacious masters And crustacious Mississis and becos