The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
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The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
It was reported, that on some occasions they had not even contented
themselves with hard speeches, but they had come to scuffling--he
taking to boxing, and she to pinching--though in a far less amicable
manner than is practised by the takers of snuff. On the present
difference, however, they were satisfied with “wishing each other dead
with all their hearts”--and there seemed little doubt of the sincerity
of the aspiration, on looking at their malignant faces,--for they made
a horrible picture in this frame of mind.
Now it happened that this quarrel took place on the morning of St.
Mark,--a Saint who was supposed on that Festival to favour his Votaries
with a peep into the Book of Fate. For it was the popular belief in
those days, that if a person should keep watch towards midnight, beside
the church, the apparitions of all those of the parish who were to be
taken by Death before the next anniversary, would be seen entering the
porch. The Yeoman, like his neighbours, believed most devoutly in this
superstition--and in the very moment that he breathed the unseemly
aspiration aforesaid, it occurred to him, that the Even was at hand,
when by observing the rite of St. Mark, he might know to a certainty
whether this unchristian wish was to be one of those that bear fruit.
Accordingly, a little before midnight he stole quietly out of the
house, and in something of a Sexton-like spirit set forth on his way to
the Church.
In the mean time the Dame called to mind the same ceremonial; and
having the like motive for curiosity with her husband, she also put on
her cloak and calash, and set out, though by a different path, on the
same errand.
The night of the Saint was as dark and chill as the mysteries he was
supposed to reveal, the moon throwing but a short occasional glance,
as the sluggish masses of cloud were driven slowly across her face.
Thus it fell out that our two adventurers were quite unconscious of
being in company, till a sudden glimpse of moonlight showed them to
each other, only a few yards apart; both, through a natural panic, as
pale as Ghosts, and both making eagerly towards the church porch. Much
as they had just wished for this vision, they could not help quaking
and stopping on the spot, as if turned to a pair of tombstones, and in
this position the dark again threw a sudden curtain over them, and they
disappeared from each other.
It will be supposed the two came only to one conclusion, each
conceiving that St. Mark had marked the other to himself. With this
comfortable knowledge, the widow and widower elect hied home again
by the roads they came; and as their custom was to sit apart after a
quarrel, they repaired, each ignorant of the other’s excursion, to
separate chambers.
[Illustration: SECOND SIGHT.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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