The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
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The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
N.B.--We are requested to state that the above described figure
was entirely invented and manufactured by little Solomon Levy, of
Hollywell-street, Strand, who has a variety always on show, about the
metropolis.
SYMPTOMS OF OSSIFICATION.
“An indifference to tears, and blood, and human suffering, that
could only belong to a _Boney-parte_.”--_Life of Napoleon._
TIME was, I always had a drop
For any tale or sigh of sorrow;
My handkerchief I used to sop
Till often I was forced to borrow;
I don’t know how it is, but now
My eyelids seldom want a drying;
The doctors, p’rhaps, could tell me how--
I fear my heart is ossifying!
O’er Goethe how I used to weep,
With turnip cheeks and nose of scarlet,
When Werter put himself to sleep
With pistols kiss’d and clean’d by Charlotte;
Self-murder is an awful sin,
No joke there is in bullets flying,
But now at such a tale I grin--
I fear my heart is ossifying!
The Drama once could shake and thrill
My nerves, and set my tears a stealing,
The Siddons then could turn at will
Each plug upon the main of feeling;
At Belvidera now I smile,
And laugh while Mrs. Haller’s crying;
’Tis odd, so great a change of style--
I fear my heart is ossifying!
That heart was such--some years ago,
To see a beggar quite would shock it,
And in his hat I used to throw
The quarter’s savings of my pocket:
I never wish--as I did _then_!--
The means from my own purse supplying,
To turn them all to gentlemen--
I fear my heart is ossifying!
We’ve had some serious things of late,
Our sympathies to beg or borrow,
New melo-drames, of tragic fate,
And acts and songs, and tales of sorrow;
Miss Zouch’s case, our eyes to melt,
And sundry actors sad good-bye-ing.
But Lord!--so little have I felt,
I’m sure my heart is ossifying!
THE POACHER.
A SERIOUS BALLAD.
But a bold pheasantry, their country’s pride,
When once destroyed can never be supplied.
GOLDSMITH.
BILL BLOSSOM was a nice young man,
And drove the Bury coach;
But bad companions were his bane,
And egg’d him on to poach.
They taught him how to net the birds,
And how to noose the hare;
And with a wiry terrier,
He often set a snare.
Each “shiny night” the moon was bright,
To park, preserve, and wood
He went, and kept the game alive,
By killing all he could.
[Illustration: A BUCK-ANEER!]
Land-owners, who had rabbits, swore
That he had this demerit--
Give him an inch of warren, he
Would take a yard of ferret.
At partridges he was not nice;
And many, large and small,
Without Hall’s powder, without lead,
Were sent to Leaden-Hall.
He did not fear to take a deer,
From forest, park, or lawn;
And without courting lord or duke,
Used frequently to _fawn_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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