The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
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The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
Pedestrianism was, in her opinion, a very vulgar exercise, unavoidable
with the poor, and to some people, as Postmen, Bankers’ clerks,
Hawkers, and the like, a professional mode of progression, but a bodily
exertion very derogatory to persons of birth and breeding. So far was
this carried, that she was once heard to declare, speaking of certain
rather humble obsequies, “she would rather live for ever than have a
walking funeral!” On another occasion, when the great performance of
Captain Barclay, in walking a thousand miles in a thousand hours, was
submitted to her opinion, she said “it was a step she did not approve.”
[Illustration: DESCENDED FROM THE CONQUEROR.]
It might be surmised from such declarations, that she was incapable of
personal locomotion, through some original infirmity, for instance,
such as results from the rickets; whereas, so far from allowing any
deficiency on the part of her nurse or parents, in putting her to
her feet, Miss Norman professed to have the perfect command of all
her limbs, and would have felt extremely offended at a hint that she
could not dance. It was quite another weakness than any bodily one
which restricted her promenades, and made her feet almost as useless
to her as those of the female Chinese. Pride was in fault; and partly
her surname, for suggesting to one of her ancestors that he was a
descendant of William the First of England: a notion, which, after
turning his own head, had slightly crazed those of his successors, who
all believed, as part and parcel of their inheritance, on the strength
of the “Norman” and some dubious old pedigree, that the Conqueror was
their great Progenitor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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