_Clo._ Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in 't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in 5 such a gown. I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student; but to be said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter. 10 _Enter_ SIR TOBY _and_ MARIA. _Sir To._ Jove bless thee, master Parson. _Clo._ Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduc, 'That that is is;' so I, being master Parson, am master Parson; for, what is 'that' but 'that,' 15 and 'is' but 'is'? _Sir To._ To him, Sir Topas. _Clo._ What, ho, I say! peace in this prison! _Sir To._ The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. _Mal._ [_within_] Who calls there? 20 _Clo._ Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic. _Mal._ Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady. _Clo._ Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this 25 man! talkest thou nothing but of ladies? _Sir To._ Well said, master Parson. _Mal._ Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad: they have laid me here in hideous darkness. 30 _Clo._ Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy: sayest thou that house is dark? _Mal._ As hell, Sir Topas. 35 _Clo._ Why, it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clearstores toward the south north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? _Mal._ I am not mad, Sir Topas: I say to you, this house is dark. 40 _Clo._ Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog. _Mal._ I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never 45 man thus abused. I am no more mad than you are: make the trial of it in any constant question. _Clo._ What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl? _Mal._ That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit 50 a bird. _Clo._ What thinkest thou of his opinion? _Mal._ I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.