_Ajax._ The proclamation! _Ther._ Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think.[1273] _Ajax._ Do not, porpentine, do not; my fingers itch.[1274] 25 _Ther._ I would thou didst itch from head to foot, and I had the scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art forth in the incursions,[1275] thou strikest as slow as another.[1275] _Ajax._ I say, the proclamation! 30 _Ther._ Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles, and thou art as full of envy at his greatness as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty, ay, that thou barkest at him.[1276] _Ajax._ Mistress Thersites![1277] _Ther._ Thou shouldst strike him.[1278] 35 _Ajax._ Cobloaf![1278][1279] _Ther._ He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a[1278][1280] sailor breaks a biscuit. _Ajax._ [_Beating him_] You whoreson cur![1281][1282] _Ther._ Do, do.[1283] 40 _Ajax._ Thou stool for a witch! _Ther._ Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast[1284] no more brain than I have in my elbows; an assinego[1285] may tutor thee: thou scurvy-valiant ass! thou art here but[1286] to thrash Trojans; and thou art bought and sold among[1287] 45 those of any wit, like a barbarian slave. If thou use to beat me, I will begin at thy heel and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou![1288] _Ajax._ You dog! _Ther._ You scurvy lord! 50 _Ajax._ [_Beating him_] You cur![1281] _Ther._ Mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, camel, do, do. _Enter_ ACHILLES _and_ PATROCLUS.[1289] _Achil._ Why, how now, Ajax! wherefore do ye thus?[1290] How now, Thersites! what's the matter, man? _Ther._ You see him there, do you? 55 _Achil._ Ay; what's the matter? _Ther._ Nay, look upon him. _Achil._ So I do: what's the matter? _Ther._ Nay, but regard him well. _Achil._ 'Well!' why, so I do.[1291] 60 _Ther._ But yet you look not well upon him; for, whosoever[1292] you take him to be, he is Ajax. _Achil._ I know that, fool. _Ther._ Ay, but that fool knows not himself. _Ajax._ Therefore I beat thee. 65 _Ther._ Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! his evasions have ears thus long. I have bobbed his brain more[1293] than he has beat my bones: I will buy nine sparrows for a[1294] penny, and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord, Achilles, Ajax, who wears his wit in 70 his belly and his guts in his head, I'll tell you what I say[1295] of him. _Achil._ What? _Ther._ I say, this Ajax-- [_Ajax offers to strike him._[1296]