With a sudden dizziness I looked on the shambles that now surrounded the
opening. I have told something of the outward repulsiveness of the
Killers, with their worm-pink skins that were both tough and slimy, but
of the interiors of these foul bodies I cannot write. An axe-stroke has
no reticence.
I thought it was from that nauseous sight that a sudden faintness
threatened, and I struggled against it, stepping back, and leaning on
the axe, and turning to my companion for her to snare my triumph.
She stood very still, her eyes bright and watchful, her mind beginning
to question her for the thing she had done--which was, no doubt, outside
the experience not only of herself, but of all her kind--but her will
meeting it confidently. Then she looked at me, and her thought changed.
I made an effort to reassure her that I was uninjured, and was aware
that I was falling.
I don’t think I was unconscious for long, and I believe that she neither
helped nor hindered, but watched quietly beside a phenomenon which was
beyond her experience.
When my senses returned, she was alert and near, and her mind was quick
to reach me.
“You can rest while you will. I think your last stroke was enough to
still them. You made it work that time!” She always spoke of my body
thus, as something separate from myself, as we might praise a friend who
carved well with a blunted chisel. “I am sorry that I failed you. The
Killer rose on your farther side, and I could not reach it till it had
made its throw. I have much yet to learn of the ways of fighting--do you
not understand me? Did you not know that your body was broken
again?--does it tell you nothing?--look under your right arm.”
I looked, and understood. The excitement of the fight, in which my life
had literally depended upon the speed and force with which I could
strike, and recover, and strike again, and then the utter exhaustion
that had followed, and now the dizzy weakness that possessed me--each in
turn had left me unaware that a javelin had found its mark. Thrown
straight upward, and probably with no great force, in the pushing crowd
that gave scant space for free movement, it had struck me in the armpit
as the axe was lifted--no depth of wound, but one that bled very freely.
It was evident that I must rest for a time at least, and so I lay there,
while she sat beside me and watched the empty gap before us, conquering
once again the repugnance she felt at touching my body, so that the
smooth furred fingers should close the wound, and the soft palm should
give its strength to heal me.
“I am ashamed,” I thought, “that I should be so incapable from so slight
a wound. You regard me as a creature of violence, yet I break down at
every conflict, where you come through with a clearer victory. I think I
am more an encumbrance than a help, even in such ways as these.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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