I lay for some time in silence, pondering the strange things I had seen;
reviewing--not without some mental discords--my judgment of the
Bat-wings, and the fate to which it had cast them, and wondering vainly
what new marvels or terrors might be before us, when we should penetrate
the subterranean world of which we were about equally ignorant.
As I lay I became aware that the night was chilly, though, being cloudy,
it was less so than we had experienced previously. But I was suffering
from a lowered vitality, and though my wounds were trivial I was
conscious of the throbbing of my scalded foot, and that my right
shoulder was both stiff and painful.
I then fell into a mood of depression, in which I saw very vividly the
folly of the adventure which we had undertaken. How could we hope to
penetrate undetected into the domain of the Dwellers? There was no
sanity in the supposition. If I wished to live till the year of my exile
were over, should I not endeavour to find some crevice in the
surface-world, of which I already knew something, where I might hope
that my insignificance would save me?
If those whom I had come to seek survived at all, was I not more likely
to discover them under such conditions, than among those whom I had seen
squeezing the juice from the living bodies of the Killers, as casually
as a cook stones raisins?
While I thought thus, my companion’s mind gave no sign, nor had I heard
any movement from her. With a sudden start of terror I imagined that she
were no longer beside me. It was in that panic fear that I realised how
greatly I had come to depend upon her: alike upon her body for its
vigour, and upon her mind for its counsel. And beyond this I knew that
there was a spiritual quality in our intimacy, through which I was able
to face the shadows of the unknown with something of her own serenity.
It was a simple action to reach out to feel where she lay beside me, and
yet my hand delayed it.
Partly I may have been deterred by the atmosphere of aloof virginity
which always made me diffident of any physical contact, partly it was
that I dreaded to test my fear, as a man with a coward’s mind may leave
a letter unopened, knowing that it may hold the news of his ruin.
At last, I felt across the narrow space which had divided us as we lay
and watched the concluding drama of our adventure, and with a sense of
measureless relief my hand touched lightly for a moment on the
smoothness of the soft warm fur.
Her mind opened instantly, realised the mood I showed her, and crossed
it with the dancing gaiety with which she ever faced the thought of
peril. Then,--with the subtle distinction which she always drew between
myself and the body in which I lived,--she asked me, “Is it more trouble
than usual? Has it no gratitude for the rest you have given it?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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